Frankly speaking..I just hate seeing picture people posting about their graduation pictures on facebook or instagram what so ever. Jealous?OF COURSE!! I have been studying since 2007 till 2012 and still no degree yet... sometimes I even felt a little tired of this student life.. maybe because the fact that I am studying in a course that I can't really survive by getting good grades so by now I just feel that I wanna finish my degree so bad that it is killing me slowly deeply inside...
I just had a 2-hour skype session with my best friend topek in Japan where he told me that he will be going back to malaysia on 27 december..so about 3 more weeks left. He's the same age with me..he graduated but due to his 4 months training in Japan he couldn't go to his convocation..but the point is he graduated..most of my 1989 borns already graduated... kalau yang amek course 3 years tu lagi la cepat habis...me on the other side, stil on my 7 semester. I think that maybe I will have a 9th semester...yeah bummer right...so that makes me graduate at the age of 25!!!like seriously? 25 is the age that most people already had their masters degree..and for a married person maybe their kids had already know how to walk!!
Oh my Allah, sometimes I feel so pressurized by the fact that I wouldn't be able to graduate with my friends, finding a decent job and get married..even though sangat ramai kawan2 saya kahwin ketika belajar tapi jodoh saya tak sampai lagi nak wat camne.. at least kalau ada suami ni leh la nak mengadu segala masalah and hoping that he will make u feel better... I only have friends to rely on..sometimes I think I'm not playing a good role of being a friend. Duduk rumah pon asing2 dengan harapan tak nak cari gaduh..tapi tengok orang lain ok je nak berkawan..lagi2 tengok kawan2 kat UITM..UKM..serumah and juga sekelas..xdela masalah bagai... My sister also had that same problem when she was in her degree time where she prefers staying with people other than her classmates... we do have that kind of bond kan kakak?are we such freaks?
Senang cerita macam ni la...this is my final year as a degree student but I think I haven't got the chance to do so many things. Like this one time..semalam je pon...for interfaculty games I was selected to play in a bowling tournament since my score during the selection process was 143..the third best among 7 who participate..and they only wanted 4 girls to play.. I was more than happy to play since it has been two years that I played tennis for interfact so this year rasa nak tukar angin...but since this week has been super busy that I have no time for training, the team manager decided to put me as a reserve,.,,and I was like WTF? ada je lagi player yang tak training and you just have to give them a part to play right just because you owe them..great,,just great...I had to come to support the team but reality is that I just watched them play dalam hati cakap ," I can do better than them," masa tu team tengah score agak teruk...why manager why? pastu depan si budak tahun 4 ni cakap, " ini last game ko..last year" eh manager, saya ni bukan last year jugak ke? why didn't you give me a chance? seriously I am frustrated..that's why I couldn't give much support to them..yea it may seem selfish for me but its my last chance to contribute something even though its not about the prize that we are after...( karen..if you're reading this, which I know you do, here's the truth why I didn't want to talk about the game yesterday )
Tomorrow is the last day for interfaculty games as well as the majlis penutup..my tennis teammates, classmates that participate in softball, handball will also be playing tomorrow. I wanna come to be their supporter..but I think twice before going..am I going to humiliate myself simply because I went alone watching? even topek said, " watpe ko nak g menghitamkan diri," xsupportive langsung punya kawan haha...seriously tak kisah pon kalau hitam,..my skin will return back to its original tone in a few months hehe...but all of this won't be fun if we don't have friends that could jerit2 sama2 korang and gelak sakan sama kan...
Despite of all the tension arises, I am glad to be talking to one of my best friends that I miss so damn much...sometimes I imagine meeting him with his classmates yang memang suka menggila dimana saja when I was walking my way through class...its fun having seniors as friends but tak best jadi senior due to the tension gila2 bak hang...ape benda yang ak sembang pasal tension2 ni semua dia dah rasa...nasihat dia pasal sem 8 ni is janganlah lewatkan kerja tu..kalau tak confirm tension gila...fyp akan jadi lagi senang kalau lebih bersedia...
OK adlin..you have to stay stronger just a little bit more...I know it sucks for not being able to graduate on time...but always remember Allah tak akan uji hambaNYA diluar kemampuanya...
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