Eternal Love

This morning I went for a jog with my classmate kismera..she said that she gained 6-7kg during our semester break..wah gila la..I wonder kat mana lemak2 tu tersimpan?haha..I only gained like 1-2kg hihihi...itu pon after our trip to JB..kalau kat rumah kami konsep makan kais pagi makan pagi....makan nasi satu hari sekali je..lauk satu je..itu pon kena catu coz takut either one of us tak dapat makan sebab lauk habis...so of course la excited bila dihidang makan banyak kan...So yesterday I already went for a jog alone..lebih puas la coz I manage to finished half dari satu bulatan untuk orang yang da lama tak jog kira membanggakan juga la untuk diri sendiri...bila temankan kis g jog serupa jalan je..100m jog and the rest was only walking..camno nak kurus ni kis...

Deyh adlin banyak benar pendahuluan kau kan...so after our little 'jog' we went for breakfast nearby and kismera starts to tell stories about her granddad and his 4 marriages (bukan kahwin 4..tapi kahwin cerai) and her family business..I defined her as the Hilton of pulau perhentian coz the resort kat situ was built sejak zaman atoknya lagi and sekarang the management of the resort was taken in by her paklong...so by then I told her the story about how my grandma and granddad's marriage back in the late 1940's did not have her family's blessing...

My grandma's dad was the village chief and conquers many lands back then..he raised 8 children since her wife died when my grandma was 14 if I'm not mistaken..wan(panggilan nenek kami) was  the 3rd and the eldest daughter so she holds the responsibility of raising her siblings until they were successfully masuk university..respect la sama wan sebab that time not all people can get into college..but my great granddad banyak duit masa tu so thats a bonus la..so she sacrifices a lot for the family..the reason why she got married at the age of 22..zaman tu rasanya kalau kawen umo 22 da macam andartu kot... she chose to marry a policeman..family tok kani ( panggilan kami kat moyang..real name sheikh kani) memang terang2 dah tolak sebenarnya because the fact that my atok is just a policeman with minimal income...tok kani already had his own plans to arrange wan with one of his rakan pengaruh..aku agak confirm anak orang kaya la kan...duh obviously..

In detail I didn't know how it happened then but wan in the end did married atok...but because of that it has broke the family apart...its like wan's siblings accused her for being derhaka and not grateful of the life tok kani gave..but tak la macam drama sangat coz tok kani didn't disowned wan ...as I remember from mama, wan and atok had to live kat rumah pondok yang besar dia cam umah sewa aku kerat tiga sekarang...but years after their marriage...wan's siblings slowly starting to accept atok and atok started to open up his own business after his job retirement and manage to provide the family well enough..mama selalu cakap kalau setiap kali birthday adik beradik dia mesti diorang tak sabar nak  tunggu atok balik rumah bawak tin laici makan ramai2...tu kira macam dah mahal gila la sambut birthday dengan minum air laici..

But apart from all accepting  atok slowly there were two of wan's siblings that didn't care much..in fact saying that anak-anak wan ni pengaruh tak baik...but adik beradik mama peduli hape kan...main je sama2 coz rumah dah dekat2...and takkan wan nak halang kan...

So the person that I'm talking firstly is wan induk yeng(aku lupa nama betul dia) but I made a post last year that we went to her house in raub..click here kalau nak baca la... she was wan's only sister..I think yg ke 6 kot..so basically dia ni was the one that always blamed wan's mistake in marrying atok whenever wan kesusahan..she always forbid her children to ever get so close to wans children..siap cakap " anak2 zainab ni semua tak betul perangai". I only knew this from my aunts gossiping during our gathering at bangi..yea more like I was eavesdropping their conversation hehe...but mama said that their relationship between wan induk yeng's children are like very close like they somehow just ignore her warnings...yela mereka pon da besar dan isu ni pon dah lama so why bring it up until our 3rd generation?its not like a 7th generation curse macam mahsuri kan....and I know the whole story clearly when my 2nd cousin (wan induk yeng's grandson) told the whole story while I was in 1st year at UTeM..he was on his last year back then..sekarang dak fikri ni tengah sambung ambik PHD lagi uolls..gila la dia ni straight belajar..padahal masa sekolah kena tendang sekolah sains sebab curi underwear perempuan LOL...ok2 sambung cerita...so he told me that same story about our 'tok kani' family issues. He was on the same page as his dad so thats why he treated me like his very own sister sepanjang satu tahun aku kat situ..sampai mana2 lelaki yang nak kenal aku pon dia dok periksa haha...only her grandma can't tolerate...I think maybe until both of my grandparents passed away wan induk can only tolerate..and she did..yeay to that :p..

So moving on to the next sibling was tok teh...my mom told me that the last time she met tok teh when she was 15 years old..last year was the first time in 37 years she step into tok teh's house...I don't recall to whom I heard about the story but tok teh was the one that menentang habis wan's marriage. Sampai satu masa bila dia nak meninggal barulah dia panggil2 nama wan and nak minta maaf.. Itu yang saya dengar...so mama pon jarang2 cerita yang dia rapat ngan tok teh's children so I guess that the hashims weren't that close to tok tehs family..but either way we did visit the house and their family and wan teh did treat us well =)..yeay to that also heee....

What I learnt from this story is that...we always here cases where marriage didn't have parents blessing..we seldom hear about siblings blessings and anger about marriage that could ruin the family institution..even though wan did not chose a wealthy man as a husband, she did lived a joyful life with atok accompanied by 8 children..she did went through hardships with him...she passed away a year after atok on 2005...but for me the saddest part is when she didn't get a chance to reunite with her siblings...al-fatihah to arwah zainab and hashim...

haih if only I had a photo of atok and wan...yang lama kena scan tu ada kat kampung masih tergantung...so this is the best I got...

nampak tak tulisan kat baju tu?ha itu la event the hashims masa awal tahun 2011..at port dickson..a 3 days 2 night event fully organized by us...aku tak tahu ada point atau tak sebenarnya pic ni ngan post ni sebenarnya haha...ok randomness=adlin

Motherhood

 I know that I am not eligible to talk about marriage since I'm not married and pregnant and can't even see the path that I'm gonna get married by this year but this is just something I wanna share my thoughts about parenthood.

At this point, many of my friends have already got married and have children. In their late 20's maybe they will have like 2 children already. I always hear complains and murmuring about the hectic and tiredness of being a parent especially when your kids jarak umur dekat2...playing 3 roles at the same time. A mother, a wife and a career women would make your life sometimes mess up..sometimes rasa nak marah je bila tengok some people complaint about kepenatan layan anak2 ni...don't you know that your child is Allah's gift?please don't call them troublesome or mess maker...although it sounds horrible and geli when you're dealing with babies poop and stuff..I know you will be happy when seeing your child is smiling at you right? it maybe exhausting for a while ..you won't get your usual sleep time, you won't get your old life again and barely go for date nights with your husband..but in the end you will be happy..

For those who haven't watch the movie 'What to expect when you're expecting' I encourage to watch it coz for me its a very inspiring story. 5 story in one movie..cases when a wife can't get pregnant and has to adopt, a wife that tries for 2 years to get pregnant and a girl's reaction when she got knocked up..believe me when I watched this movie I wanted to cry LOL....

My mother always tells us stories of how she raise the four of us up...back then she had to go to work by day and take care of us by night..switch shifts between dad..so dad took care of us by day as he was doing his masters and Phd by evening..and when dad got too busy..mama had to take a day off to take care of the family...since dad was only a student so mama had to buy secondhand toys at a car boot sale...mama said that she already gone through the hardships of motherhood and sekarang since we are grown adults dia siap bagi warning lagi ," Don't ask me to babysit your kid," haha ok mama kami faham...unless we give her a maid so thats fair enough =p...now is her chance to live the life she deserves...from what I noticed her recent routine starts  bila pagi2 pergi jog kat taman gelora(for me tpt tu memang sangat cantik coz tepi pantai) and petang sikit main squash kat UIA ynag jaraknya memang dekat sangat dengan umah kami...aku lah jadi bahan bila kalah main game squash ngan dia. " come on la ayin..you can't even beat your 53 year old mom?" ok aku rasa loser gila sekarang haha..

To be frank, during my teenage years I was never good when it comes to handling children..anak buah pon tak de..adik pon dah besar..so I ended up being awkward when it comes to making a baby smlling or laughing...aku tengok baby comel je tapi aku sendiri tak pandai layan..dapat pulak budak 1-2 tahun yang banyak songeh ngada2..memang budak tu takkan pergi kat aku la..harapan la nak suh aku layan kerenah dia..my siblings memang suka sangat budak2 and budak2 pon suka mereka lagi2 my bro yang seems to get along with every budak yang dia handle..rugilah the girls tak pi ngorat dia..single lagi tu haha....well the fact that I'm not good with kids its actually a secret that I've kept from most of my friends..lagi2 kalau ada crush..kau gila nak bagitau statement camtu? but some of my close friends are already aware of my 'bad side' sampai diorang cakap " adlin camne ko nak kawen nanti?" yea I was afraid of that fact too...

THEN....



Two years ago that' motherly feeling' just came inside of me...aku tak didik pon tapi sendiri sedar kebenaran tu...every toddler handling was just something I felt like happy to do it...the cleaning, feeding, playing...everything yang memenatkan  untuk jaga budak aku wat..except the breastfeeding part la =p...dulu my siblings memang suka bahan aku tak pandai jaga budak kan..now dah sama level okay...its not just that..the feeling of having my own child seems to be growing..like can't wait to build my own family...but first..lets get to the part where I suppose to find a husband fisrt (sighs)

The Bloom Part Two

Why part 2? where's part 1? well I decided to save part 1 to myself and I figure its too private to share with any anonymous whose reading this since I let my blog public...

So why bloom? well in malay it means berbunga-bunga kan..the feeling that you're happy and just by looking or speaking to someone you love..oh my terasa jiwang lak malam2 ni...

I was once that girl...I easily get butterflies in my stomach every time a hot jock or guy in school smiles at me or even making jokes to his friends.. I love the feeling of a person cared about me that it makes me feel secure.  I didn't realized that I always get the guy that I had a crush on. Like kamal my first boyfriend, my heart pounded the moment I first saw him.. they say that if you're heart starts pounding so maybe he is the one you are gonna spend the rest of your life with..Well from what I have been going through, thats totally BS...even so I really think that he would be my husband then...

At school I never really experienced 'puppy love'..thats a good thing for me though because most of high school relationships didn't end up to marriage..but I do experienced the bloom when my crush talked to me even though he did not have a single clue that I had a big crush on him until someone I trust (that time I wasn't aware of the term trust to people) spill out my secret and the guy knew and suddenly avoiding me..by that time the crush was over because he react like a total jerk haha..

Well thats one of the examples that I could give now..I could share more stories on my crushes experience but maybe it would take more than a night to cover it up...and maybe I could publish  a novel perhaps haha..ok lame adlin..lame...

Then after all these years I realized that I was being selfish...I had an option but I chose to grab all of it..in the end I couldn't keep one...mende aku cakap ni pon aku kurang faham....but the thing is now Allah has taken me the 'bloom' feeling from me...its a sign to realized that I was abandoning Him and choosing more of dunya that Him...ten years ago my teacher back in sekolah menengah islam hidayah told us a story about her friend..she and her husband did not have any issues until one day she doesn't have any feelings for her husband..not even the 'batin' part..barangkali dia lebih bernafsu tengok lelaki lain berbanding suaminya sendiri...she panicked..dalam setiap solat she prays that she could overcome Allah's test upon her..I didn't know what happened next...the whole point of my teacher's story was ' What if one day Allah decided to take that love feeling between you and your husband/wife?".... So its possible then.

In  my case...after three relationships that didn't work out I finally have that feeling of not having the bloom thing at all...I did panicked a while..maybe I was being more careful on judging people...I had that mission to get married at the age of 25,but on 2013 at the age of 24, it seems so  pressure for me deciding. My mom keeps pressuring me to meet this 'husband material' kind of guy that she promised a better future..yes I know he is someone stable...I always hear about pilihan ibu bapa yang terbaik...tapi paling tak suka kena pressure..last year I made a deal with a friend that we would be engage by this year and married in 2014...he seems to agree with that since we were on the same boat last year..then I thought everything would be settled after our agreement...no frequent text messages, late night calls or whatsoever...bajet cinta lepas kawen la katekan..then mom decided to berkenalan with her choices..than I argued with her saying that I already have a choice.." well that choice is not good enough,btw he will graduate the same year with you so you will face hardships before both of you can be fully stable..so please go for my choices,"

Well if thats the case, I decided to leave our conversation there...I know that my mom sedang melalui fasa where she wants to see us happy...she doesn't want to put us in hardships just like we are going through now...marriage..jodoh kan satu rezeki..maybe rezeki saya belum sampai lagi so I don't need to rush..besides am I the 2nd breadwinner in the family?so of course I need to sacrifice the important things first before marriage...

Seriously I don't know what I'm babbling here...if you get the point..congrats..if you don't..well sorry can't help...

please be one of these guys if I wanna have that bloom again ahaks...

chris pine..always love him since the princess diaries 2

Ian somerhalder...the good-looking salvatore brothers

avan jogia.. from victorious

 or paling dekat la aku bagi untuk malaysia is...*drumroll please*

hairul azreen!!!the stuntman yg masuk fear factor selebriti malaysia...ulang2 tengok part dia je...sangatlah cool ok haha

Completely Stuck in The Past

Sometimes  I do think much of my life back then..some of them I miss so much..some of them I feel traumatized....seems that I regret of doing things that I face the consequences now...I imagine things happening before..things that won't happen again..but those moments are completely thoughtful for the rest of my life...as I walk through each path every day in my life.. I watch the similar situations happening around me and reminisce the memories I once had....sometimes I don't think it as a way of psycho thinking...I think of it as a way to make my life positively again...

I think of:

I'm still in a relationship with my first boyfriend and now happily engaged and planning very particularly about our wedding preparations

I still think of my dad comes at home every night and asked the whole family to jog at the lake every weekend mornings and have a nice family dinner somewhere in a restaurant with all six of us...

having my study routines like I was in form 3 and matriculation days where I disciplined myself to study and complete all my homework from 8-12 and woke up at 5a.m..

getting emotionally bullied by schoolmates for being the quite, timid one and the one who has more guy friends than girls that makes some girls jealous and then I got accused for 'stealing' their boyfriends...I came to my dorm everyday feeling  that highschool would end soon and I would be out of their lives living the dream..

either way I know my actions are not good at all...I should really think of carry on my life to life a better way ahead...



if I know that my life was going to be completely opposite now I would have not broken up with my boyfriend as I am jealous like hell seeing him marrying another girl on june next year while I seemed to fail every relationships after him.....I would have spend much more quality time with my dad and saying "thank you" and "love you" to him for raising the four of us and fulfilling our needs while you had us at a very young age..as I grow up being an adult I truly realised how hard it was to be a parent...

move forward..for a better future...let go of your past...you can't control your past but you can control ways to react with them in the future...if I haven't gone through all these situations in life I would have not be the person I am now..

Ujian

a post I fully copied from Hilal Asyraf's post on his official page:

Tujuan ujian adalah untuk menguji. Sebab itu namanya adalah ujian. Jika ujian itu datang dalam keadaan mudah dilangkau, tidak dinamakan ianya ujian. Ujian semestinya menggegarkan, menggoyahkan, meragut ketenteraman dan menghilangkan kesenangan.

Dalam keadaan ini Allah ingin melihat sejauh manakah keyakinan kita kepada-Nya.

Yang Allah mahu daripada ujian adalah pembuktian kita terhadap keimanan kita.

Saya sering mengulang ayat 2 dari Surah Al-Ankabut:

“Apakah manusia itu mengira, bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan berkata: Kami telah beriman, sedangkan mereka itu belum diuji?”

Sebab itu, adakah kita mengira, kita akan masuk syurga Allah dengan lenggang kangkung tanpa diuji dengan ujian yang hebat? Kadangkala seakan kita tertolak ke pinggir gaung. Hanya menunggu masa sahaja untuk jatuh walaupun telah berusaha bertahan.

Kita bertanya-tanya, kenapa kita diuji sedemikian rupa?

Ketahuilah, itu hakikatnya adalah tapisan kita ke syurga Allah SWT.

“Apakah kamu mengira, kamu akan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga, selagi belum tiba kepada kamu ujian yang telah didatangkan kepada orang-orang sebelum kamu? Mereka diuji dengan kepapaan dan serangan penyakit serta digoncangkan. Sehingga berkatalah rasul dan orang yang beriman dengannya: Bilakah pertolongan Allah(hendak sampai)?...” Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 214.

Iya. Diuji sehingga ke pinggiran gaung. Sehingga tergoncang keimanan mereka. Allah nak bantu atau tidak ini? Tetapi mereka itu memilih untuk terus percaya. Apakah jawapan Allah pada akhir ayat itu?

“...(ketahuilah) sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu amat dekat.” Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 214.
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Petikan daripada Buku Motivasi Untuk Kita Pendosa: Harapan Selalu Ada!

Bare with It

I realized it's been my 7th semester here and the same problem always arises everytime we have are assigned to a group work...some students may prefer choosing their own group member while me on the side always have problems choosing my own group..everytime the lecturers asked students opinions whether to choose their own group members or simply the lecturer decides, I would be the one really hoping that the lecturer would decide our own group. For me its easy and we don't have to bother on searching for one.

When it comes to forming our own group, that could be a problem for me. I remembered when I was in my 1st semester where people would quickly approach me to be their group member in japanese language class (fyi I have a moderate level of Japanese Language :p). I still remember that time I was so confused on choosing which group should I joined. In the end I choose the ones that asked me first.

Moving on to my 2nd, 3rd and so on...I had problems when it comes to forming my own group. I guess maybe its my own fault for not performing well in the task given, or maybe its my fault that the group's mark are not good, or maybe the fact that I'm just not good enough...the thoughts keep arousing me everytime.. its like people are avoiding me or something...on the other side I heard that guys prefer grouping with their own kind. Means its easy when it comes to discussion where they could easily discuss at their rooms, houses with their shirts taken off. Imagine grouping with a girl, they should meet up in a open place and can't simply move around freely.

There's another case where I found a group of people prefer on their own group..what  I meant here is that no one could join their group..its like a group of what you can called " The Top Scorers" where they can't simply let the 'Average' join the group. Total BS right....

To come think about it, I should reviewed myself on how have I been treating people during my group work. There must be some kind of reason why people somewhat refuses me to join their group. I don't expect every people to like me though..its their own choice. I just need to know what part of me that I should change for the better. If I think one the negative side (which I shouldn't)...people only approach me to be in their group for subjects that I am good for like japanese language and technical communication. Other than that, I have to search alone..so does it mean that I'm no good for other subjects?Well hello I got an A- for my Mechanics of Machines subject (I defined an A- for me is like an A++  for adlin) so I'm not much of a loser you know huh...

Forget the negative thoughts..bad adlin..bad....I should always look everything in a positive side..islam taught me that...I forgot the term called for that..relax la adlin...despite the pressure you're carrying, there are people who are willing to take you as a group member and accept with your weaknesses..indeed they are good people...thank you for that...

I really hope that this post won't offend anyone who read this...so sorry if I did so...this semester has been really tough and full with pressuring tests so I may get a little emotional..plus I'm on my PMS mode so paham2 jela :p

I wanna graduate!!

Frankly speaking..I just hate seeing picture people posting about their graduation pictures on facebook or instagram what so ever. Jealous?OF COURSE!! I have been studying since 2007 till 2012 and still no degree yet... sometimes I even felt a little tired of this student life.. maybe because the fact that I am studying in a course that I can't really survive by getting good grades so by now I just feel that I wanna finish my degree so bad that it is killing me slowly deeply inside...

I just had a 2-hour skype session with my best friend topek in Japan where he told me that he will be going back to malaysia on 27 december..so about 3 more weeks left. He's the same age with me..he graduated but due to his 4 months training in Japan he couldn't go to his convocation..but the point is he graduated..most of my 1989 borns already graduated... kalau yang amek course 3 years tu lagi la cepat habis...me on the other side, stil on my 7 semester. I think that maybe I will have a 9th semester...yeah bummer right...so that makes me graduate at the age of 25!!!like seriously? 25 is the age that most people already had their masters degree..and for a married person maybe their kids had already know how to walk!!

Oh my Allah, sometimes I feel so pressurized by the fact that I wouldn't be able to graduate with my friends, finding a decent job and get married..even though sangat ramai kawan2 saya kahwin  ketika belajar tapi jodoh saya tak sampai lagi nak wat camne.. at least kalau ada suami ni leh la nak mengadu segala masalah and hoping that he will make u feel better... I only have friends to rely on..sometimes I think I'm not playing a good role of being a friend. Duduk rumah pon asing2 dengan harapan tak nak cari gaduh..tapi tengok orang lain ok je nak berkawan..lagi2 tengok kawan2 kat UITM..UKM..serumah and juga sekelas..xdela masalah bagai... My sister also had that same problem when she was in her degree time where she prefers staying with people other than her classmates... we do have that kind of bond kan kakak?are we such freaks?


Senang cerita macam ni la...this is my final year as a degree student but I think I haven't got the chance to do so many things. Like this one time..semalam je pon...for interfaculty games I was selected to play in a bowling tournament since my score during the selection process was 143..the third best among 7 who participate..and they only wanted 4 girls to play.. I was more than happy to play since it has been two years that I played tennis for interfact so this year rasa nak tukar angin...but since this week has been super busy that I have no time for training, the team manager decided to put me as a reserve,.,,and I was like WTF? ada je lagi  player yang tak training and you just have to give them a part to play right just because you owe them..great,,just great...I had to come to support the team but reality is that I just watched them play dalam hati  cakap ," I can do better than them," masa tu team tengah score agak teruk...why manager why? pastu depan si budak tahun 4 ni cakap, " ini last game ko..last year" eh manager, saya ni bukan last year jugak ke? why didn't you give me a chance? seriously I am frustrated..that's why I couldn't give much support to them..yea it may seem selfish for me but its my last chance to contribute something even though its not about the prize that we are after...( karen..if you're reading this, which I know you do, here's the truth why I didn't want to talk about the game yesterday )

Tomorrow is the last day for interfaculty games as well as the majlis penutup..my tennis teammates, classmates that participate in softball, handball will also be playing tomorrow. I wanna come to be their supporter..but I think twice before going..am I going to humiliate myself simply because I went alone watching? even topek said, " watpe ko nak g menghitamkan diri," xsupportive langsung punya kawan haha...seriously tak kisah pon kalau hitam,..my skin will return back to its original tone in a few months hehe...but all of this won't be fun if we don't have friends that could jerit2 sama2 korang and gelak sakan sama kan...

Despite of all the tension arises, I am glad to be talking to one of my best friends that I miss so damn much...sometimes I imagine  meeting him with his classmates yang memang suka menggila dimana saja when I was walking my way through class...its fun having seniors as friends but tak best jadi senior due to the tension gila2 bak hang...ape benda yang ak sembang pasal tension2 ni semua dia dah rasa...nasihat dia pasal sem 8 ni is janganlah lewatkan kerja tu..kalau tak confirm tension gila...fyp akan jadi lagi senang kalau lebih bersedia...

OK adlin..you have to stay stronger just a little bit more...I know it sucks for not being able to graduate on time...but always remember Allah tak akan uji hambaNYA diluar kemampuanya...

On Plagiarism Matters

While I was busy doing my assignments and projects and not forgetting my final year project!! (big grudge on that one) I logged on to utem's student portal to check out new items.. then my hvac (heat ventilating & air-conditioning system...malas betul ai nak tulis panjang2) lecturer uploaded our individual assignment assessment based on similarities between our work and the internet...in short the percentage of plagiarism in our work...honestly speaking I was a little nervous the moment I saw the file there probably because it took me only two days to complete the assignment because I was rushing finishing my FYP poster...students just LOVE to procrastinate right...

So then when I opened the file and ..wallauweyh!! I got 14% of similarities...not exactly the greatest achievement  coz my rank was 25 out of 60 student submission..it was quite a relief for me coz my lecturer once mentioned that if a student's work is more than 30% of similarities, it is assumed as plagiarism....kalaulah aku buat betul2 mesti dapat 0% similarities heee..ayat bajet bagus hoho... I should work harder for my thesis  and my new target : achieve below 10 % of similarities!!fight-to~oh!! (terikut-ikut ngan yankumi in gokusen lak hehe)

Then I realized something...intelligence is definitely not based on how good your grades get...or how well your curricular activities are..sometimes we just need a little determination and confidence in life..maintaining good relationship with people around...and certainly maintaining a good relationship with Allah is what matters most...

juz a little prove that I ain't lying ..and self satisfaction :p

Procrastinating is sweet!!

So sorry for not updating my blog for quite a while...its not that I didn't visit my blog at all..hari2 dok bukak tapi sekadar tengok dashboard and read other peoples post....ok so last week we had an ultimately painful week.. my sweet precious weekend was just filled up with study and study...last sunday we had our measurement and instrumentation test, the next day was HVAC (heat ventilation & air conditioning) test and for wednesday was my control engineering test (subject repeat huhu)..you see..3 damn test!! then as soon as I finished my test, I straightly went to my supervisor's house Dr Nona where I met all of her 'anak buah' bawah dia sedang bertungkus lumus finishing their final year project poster which in fact even I just started like 10% of it...the cool thing is that we get to lepak2 at our supervisor's house macam member2 hehe..sebaik Dr Nona ni single and duduk umah sorang2 so xde hal la nak datang uma dia kan...tak kacau orang lain..but we were quite feeling guilty that she had to stay up till 3a.m just so that we can present our best..love u lah Doc!!

Tak cukup ngan tu...I had to submit my HVAC assignment which is a full 3 page of journal that I just started kumpul resources on the internet and biarkan je sampai la hari rabu pagi baru nak start buat..submit khamis ni...some of my classmates had already submitted their poster and assignment on wednesday since they had to catch their bus on the same day...the panic moment started at wednesday night where I have to complete the poster and assignment...I can't find a vital excuse to escape my night job so macam mana pon kena pergi jugak..then cepat2 I rushed to Dr Nona's house...alhamdulillah I completed like 95% of the poster..and that was like 2.30a.m I think...and my hvac assignment..tak bergerak lagi!!what to think of writing lagi  1 1/2 page ? belasah jela..I was thinking of staying up tapi last2 kecundang..tido dr kol 5.00 and woke up at 6.30am...oh man there goes my time!!but seriously I think that  satu jam setengah tido tu memang bantu sikit kasi idea on my assignment...then sambung keje...then suddenly I realized that " banyak nya salah on my poster!!" so it took my time untuk cantikkan lagi and emailed it to dr nona....


The moment that I thought I finished all of my task then " oh snap!!lab report!!" although I only have to rewrite the results and made a conclusion, I still feel that I can't even write  and nothing is coming out of my mind to write at all...rasa bersalah lak kt ahli group for making the report so cincai...I reached dr nona's office around 2pm and stayed there for one and half hour to make my final touch before printing out the poster...the moment when I can finally breathe in relief, kena pulak balik packing nak balik ke KL untuk  raya haji..since this year we're not having any korban, so we the Hashim's decided to just raya at KL..and we the adik beradiks memang plan to raya at my dad's kampung at Gombak. Imagine the journey I went through from melaka to kl yang hujan dan start jammed dari MRR2 sampai ke taman melawati...tapi gladly that lagi banyak kereta yang nak keluar kl dari masuk so kurang jammed like I expected (memang dari dulu kami  melawan arus so totally escaped dr jammed hihi)..dalam kereta terperangkap dalam jammed imagine how rasa nak tido datang...pakai hands free and started to call anyone yang rasa nak kacau hihi..but the same time I was afraid kacau diorang yang probably tengah kat surau/masjid...so tahan la ngntok tu sampai kol 9...then I called my 'arranged marriage husband' since masa dia called during my busy time tak sempat nak borak panjang ngan dia...when he picked up he was on his way to jusco bukit tinggi searching for a malay novel (seriously aku tak tau dia baca novel melayu....belia sungguh daa) but 'luckily' he didn't found one so he decided to look for another thing that interest him..gundam!!dia memang boleh geng sangat la ngan mastura tu..masa aku trip kat jepun tu sikit pon xteringin nak beli gundam yang harga just around Rm60-150 while kat malaysia yang paling murah pon around rm300..pebondo yang best sgt gundam tu...

ok aku melalut as usual...you see how the procrastinator like me ended up like? less sleep..stress..under pressure..but how bout the work?people say that hasil keje last minit ni biasa lagi bagus..but I'm still not sure bout that...itulah student kan...procrastinate is our thing hehe...

Tired to The Max

Its 12 am and I'm still in front of the computer typing mende ni..rajin sangat kan..tapi ni sekadar nak meluahkan what I went through..

Well yesterday, class started at 8.30 a.m, monday blues la kan..but I never ditch that class..semangat lah kan haha..and class continues till 6 pm..I repeat 6pm!! and the only time we get a break is between 1-2...so usually I would wake up and made breakfast..yang simple2 jela..but I assumed like a heavy breakfast to keep me energize in the mornings..so bila da makan pagi berat then you just have to skip lunch right...so I did..ye memang ada masa nak makan between 1-2 but for a girl like me yang makan satu pinggan pon hamek masa sampai setengah jam, harapan la nak makan masa tu kan...lagi nak kejar utk solat lagi kan...so class in the afternoon went smoothly but I did get bored during the engineering ethics class..sampai ajak dayah who sat besides me main bingo..gila lama tak main game tu masa sekolah rendah dulu haha,,,then the exhausted part goes when kelas malam pulak ada...masa tu I had to ditch again my night job and replace it for another day..so that time memang lembik tak terkata...

Balik2 kelas je around 10.30,,solat and terus tido and not thinking at all nak baca renewable energy utk quiz esok...This morning I woke up at 7.50a.m!!! memang siap bagaikan lightning strikes and masuk kls...masa tu serius rasa nak ponteng je coz sangatlah penat...nasi pon tak sempat nak makan...yeah even till now satu butir nasi pon xtelan..then after class we had our final year project meeting with Dr Nona and it went well till 1.55pm..then pegi kelas lagi..and I totally forgot to perform zuhur prayers till dayah reminded me...nasib baik kelas abes awal so I could straightly drive home and solat..I tried to sleep pas asar tadi...tak baik kan tido pas asar..hilang ilmu2 aku siang tadi ..tapi kesudahannya I ended up watching 'my boss my hero'....it gets worse that I only started studying at 7pm!! lagi lah time maghrib ilmu tak masuk kan...nasib baik lah pm juhari lupa nak print soklan makanya kuiz postpone on thursday..yeay!!I guess hehe...

Nampak tak hari ni pon aku tak sempat nak makan berat...lemah gemalainya tubuh ini...but after class kis and sara ajak g makan burger bakar kt area taman...kalau ikutkan dari umah sewa aku jalan kaki jauh lagi dekat umah kis tapi tu pon malas nak g...bukan malas tapi xde masa and xde geng...so makan la kat rawang burger bakar...for me takde lah sedap mana compared to burger bakar that I ate at Taman Melawati yang lagi murah and sedap...

so here I am nak tunggu masa tido...selesai sesi luah2 ni...do remember kids, its a normal thing if you skip a meal during your student days...agak meyedihkan tapi tulah orang kata terpaksa hmm...

ok time for sleep..(I usually reread my post before publishing it but terlalu mengantuk punya pasal I skip that routine) gud night

Thank You Allah

As I go older..yes have to face the fact that I'm old :p...things changed for the past few years..from worst to better..I realised these mistakes that I made put a great impact into my life..the self awareness that just came naturally to my heart..let me give you a few examples:

- before I don't care if I wear short length shirts..kira atas punggung or betul2 separuh punggung where whenever I raised my hand it would show my skin..even sometimes my sisters pon tegur je but I decide untuk ignore je...

-Now I had to make sure all my clothes covers the butt and of course loose as I don't want people to see my sexy back..long cardigans are a must whenever I wear short sleeve shirts..thank you Allah for giving me the feeling of shame...If I wear something tight or singkat..I would feel like somehow naked and everybody is staring at my butt hehe

-before I don't care if I wear my hijab not covering the chest..I was thinking bout the whole fashion thing where most hijab models wear their hijab not covering the chest.

-Now I got the feeling that people are staring at me..than I figure 'what's the point of wearing a hijab but not covering the chest?" its just the same as not wearing them..thank you Allah for giving me the feeling of awareness about hijab

-before all I wanna do when entering a new environment is just to fit in..jumpa geng2..ikut je geng kalau pergi mana2..diorang abeskan duit..aku pon abeskan duit skali..they think negatively about people..u too have to think negatively..they cheat..u cheat..they have boyfriends/girlfriends..u wanna have one too

-Now I realised that fitting in is just a stupid option. Do what you think is right..think wisely and follow what your heart tells you to..its not that you have to be alone..you will have friends that know about you, understand your situation and always think positively about you.. I made my choice..I choose to stay with people older than me..career people that I am more comfortable with..Of course sometimes I missed hanging out with my classmates but alhamdulillah Allah gave me a two year chance to had fun with them..and     sacrifice my other two years for things that I should have done for the family..and yes my colleagues do feel a little weird about me  not hanging out with them that sometimes put an awkward feeling to us. but thank You Allah for giving me the feeling of having a family even though we are not related but you treated me as a part of your family and I am so grateful of that.(the family thing mungkin kurang jelas kat sini..akan terang lbh lanjut in my next post)

-before I seldomly recite the Quran..paling-paling pon baca Yasin seminggu sekali...tapi baca yasin da biasa so nak baca pon tidak la merangkak-rangkak...but when it comes to other surahs, oh man saya kecundang..baca tahap darjah satu iqra'..buat malu ketua kerohanian aspuri smk bandar putra 2006 hehe..dulu punya la suruh budak-budak ni baca Quran at least satu hari satu page..then bila aku da masuk universiti makin kurang amalkan lak..bila kurang baca..maka kurang lancar lah..

-Now I would spend at least one page per waktu reciting the Quran..bacaan pon alhamdulillah semakin lancar walaupon tajwid sedikit lemah..thank You Allah for making me realizing that I should be closed to You..thinking that you will always be there for me whenever I feel lonely...sad..happy..painful..angry..uneasy feeling..lost..

I hope these positive changes would continuously improve..do forgive me for all my wrongdoings..I am still not perfect..and perfect doesn't exist..but striving for perfection does..

THANK YOU ALLAH

A 16-year old girl wish that didn't came true... not at the moment

Tau tak lagu istimewa by indigo..lagu lama tapi bagi saya sangat mendalam dan bermakna. Saya punya berangan sampai saya teringin sangat satu hari seorang lelaki yang disayangi akan menyanyikan lagu ni didepan saya dengan gitarnya dan juga suara yang saya tak kisah kalau tak sedap..itu impian saya ketika umur saya 16 tahun...until now I'm still hoping that one day a man that I love the most would sing it to me...and now I'm almost 23..so it has been like 7 years of waiting and hoping..bunyi macam pathetic gila kan..

But the thing is..bila aku cerita pasal wish aku ni kat kawan-kawan rapat ku...yang peliknya itu bukan 'impian sweet' mereka tapi diorang dapat apa yang aku wishkan itu..seriously their boyfriends would sing it to them..and I was likE "EHHHH?"  bila my kawan-kawan rapat ni kena..terus diorang ingat kat aku..sebab aku cerita kat diorang yang itu one of my wish list...lihatlah penangan ku pada mereka hohoho

Tapi tak kisah la..ini impian masa aku sekolah..I was 16 okay..suddenly I just remembered a wish that didn't came true..yet..hahah..i just think positively that Allah would save my wish to the guy whose gonna be my husband..

To some people who hasn't listen to this song yet..cuba dengar..walaupun tengok videoclip cam klaka sikit because ni lagu era 90s tapi lirik dia tak macam lirik lagu sekarang yang macam tah pape...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upynQCR-2W4

Who is he?

Since I just got over a bad relationship, these visions, dreams and real situations keep haunting me. Firstly I dreamt about someone who I never met before asking me to meet his mom(strictly speaking, nak ajak kawen ). I still remember his chinese look face and straight hair. The weird thing is, he was wearing my faculty lab jacket with a black shirt underneath it. I figure he was a senior because he wore an old version of it which I don't have it by the way. The thing is, I never met him. Not even bumped into him. At some point, is he the one that my sister was talking about. Ok talk about my sister, not to be superstitious but she has the mind reading/character reading ability. Maybe it runs in the family coz my mom has that too. It's kinda like a powerful instinct, I know I don't have them. Mom knows the best partner for her friends and sis knows what kind of guy matches her friends. The thing is, they say its hard to read ur close family. I mean come on la, my sis well predicted that my cousin will find her husband when she reaches 25, and yes my cousin met her future husband when she was 25 and now she's 28 and happily married and expecting for their first child. Damn..but how come she can't predict me?

I kinda have this fetish thing over dark tall guys rather than the jambu look ones, and seriously I don't like buncit guys..minta maaf hehe.. but my sister kinda have that slight prediction that I will meet my future husband this year. She told me that my future husband is not dark and chinese look and I haven't met him yet. She told me bout this last year. I'm so freaking out this year..lebih2 lagi when I convinced myself that mr SH was the guy for me..eventhough I know the fact that I knew Mr SH for two years before we decide to have that 'serious' relationship and ended up in disastrous.

Last week my roommate back in matriculation called me. We had a 1hour and 40 minutes full conversation..wehuu I missed that..then we start talking bout my first love mr K..I heard that he's already engaged...a few days after I suddenly bumped into mr K at the train station..seriously?yeah until now I still can't believed that it actually happen. The last time I saw him was about 2 years ago. Masa jumpa tu tak nak nervous pulak kan..haih..

So, it that mr dreamguy is really my husband? For the record, point 1: dia muncul after several istikharah prayers I performed, point 2: He's not dark, height maybe lower than 180 and not that skinny/lean..maybe a little berisi la...senang cite langsung bukan taste saya..point 3: I bumped in to my first love, what coincidence or perkaitan that has do to with that? point 4: my sis said that I never met him..and yes the guy in my dreams is someone I never met..hmm..weird..if I could draw a picture of him I would.. tapi saya memang xpandai melukis.


I guess thats it...I'm nearly 23 and most of my post focuses on marriage..da gatal sangat ke?Honestly, thinking about marriage makes me  a little scared. I remembered that Tasya once said that marriage is not something that we can take it easy, we have to be fully prepare, devoted, I mean we're talking about spending the rest of your life with him right

<3

I hope this doesn't happen :p

Kesempurnaan

bagi yang mencari kesempurnaan .... anda takkan ketemu kesempurnaan selagi anda di dunia ini, betulkan niat, carilah keredhaan... terimalah bakal pasangan atau pasangan anda seadanya... sesungguhnya lelaki dan wanita dicipta adalah untuk saling lengkap-melengkapi, perbezaan yang saling memerlukan antara satu sama lain dalam meniti bahtera hidup demi mencari keredahaan. Jika anda melihat perbezaan dan kekurangan itu sebagai kelemahan... anda takkan ketemui jalan penyelesaian... pandanglah perbezaan dan kekurangan itu sebagai peluang... peluang untuk memberi khidmat kepada si suami atau si isteri , suami isteri perlu bersama-sama, lengkap melengkapi dan tolong menolong demi mencapai dan mendapatkan redha Allah.

Crushes, love, marriage and relationships

My first crush I had when I was 6. T still remembered his name was Paul. It was year 1995 at Brynmill Primary School, Swansea, Wales where my first crush was a black-haired, albino skin type boy. That was the time I know how it feels like to like the opposite gender. Then I grew up having several crushes until the time comes when crushes turns into likes and the feeling of wanting someone to care about you, protect you, and be that special one for you. In other words, Boyfriend lah..I'd be lying if I said that I never intend to have one, of course ada la kan niat tu but who would want the selekeh, pimpled shy me, harapan lah adlin :p...Then after school those feelings became more and more blooming. It started during my matriculation days, where the term 'coupling' is applied..what the hell am I talking about?ok I lied. Its not coupling.. more to 'I like you, but I don't want to have a relationship with you'. Let time decide..kalau ada jodoh tu ada la kan...

Then Mr Matric didn't work out for us..all I know was I didn't want to ruin his future. and yes maybe I did make the right choice because he did found the right one and I heard they are getting married soon. Good for you my friend :)

Moving on to Mr Automotive, my senior at college. The biggest mistake I ever made. The time where I challenged myself to have a boyfriend pada hakikatnya saya tak perlu pon. Its the environment that forces me to do so. Tengok keliling aku dok couple dengan orang sama U and sama fakulti buat ak pressure je..apa ingat aku tak leh dapat boyfriend gak ke. That's why I define my actions as foolish and stupid. And one reason that saya boleh tahan dengan his really big temper is tak nak malu dengan kawan2 dia..2nd stupid point..

After that I realised that I should get married fast.I think I went through enough... Asyik dok menggatal je..I should stop being such a b***h...My first plan is to find a guy and make an agreement that we should get married on date ****** (undecided sebab xde calon lagi) then contact or tak contact depends on us. Nak contact sebulan sekali pon xde hal..at least kurang dosa..tanya2 kabar bakal suami sebulan sekali pon ape salahnya..but if plan A didn't work out..calon yg nak bersetuju tak jumpa..(yela saya xhot payah la nak jumpa calon) we go to plan B.. arrange marriage.. itu pon ok..mama2 saya mahu kawen..hehe...kalau itu juga  tidak berhasil, maka saya akan lakukan proses taaruf..sweet juga cara ini..

Why am I talking about marriage?because I am in the situation that I should get married..bukan menggatal, tapi tak salah kan mempercepatkan yg halal..saya takut saya makin jauh dengan Allah, saya takut saya lalai, saya perlukan Imam dalam hidup saya. I have to carry so much pain that I'm afraid I can't even hold it longer enough. I'm scared if I fall, I won't be able to stand again.

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah hambaMu ini. Jika benar aku perlu mempercepatkan diri untuk menghadapi sebuah perkahwinan, tunjukkanlah jalanMu itu..

Disaat- saat aku tengah mentally down, a good friend of mine asked me to perform solat istikharah, saya mulanya takut sebab saya takut dengan tafsiran mimpi tapi kawan saya cakap 'jangan takut untuk buat, bukan makna nak tunggu kahwin baru boleh buat. ko paham kan. kalau nak ketenangan, wat tahajud. wat qiam. mintak petunjuk dekat Allah..merayulah,menangislah ketika doa kepada Dia"..thanx kawan..at times like this I really need someone to talk to.

Appreciate

"Belajarlah menghargai orang yang menyayangi kita sementara dia masih ada...sekiranya perasaan itu sudah hilang dalam dirinya atau Allah menarik dirinya balik dalam hidupmu, Bersyukurlah kerana kamu insan terpilih untuk merasai kemanisan kebahagiaan itu walaupun sekejap dan kehadirannya bisa mengubah kita menjadi orang yang baru, yang lebih kuat dan tabah, Cinta tidak semestinya memiliki"




cinta tak kejam, cuma manusia tak tahu menghargainya

mood minggu ini: berjiwangan~

What a Girl Wants

Recently I watch the movie which I have watch for like a million times and everytime I watch the movie there will be one part that I would start to burst into tears..but I didn't cry eventually, its just the feeling that you wanted to cry. The movie isn't the hindustan type, amanda bynes movies are mostly on romantic comedy and others that must have a drop of laughter in it. Briefly it's a story about a girl who lived with her mother and she never met her biological father. Ever since her 5th birthday she always hope that one day her father will come and celebrate her birthday together. Even so her father didn't know that she even existed. Then one day she decided to fly to England to visit her father, knowing that he got engaged and having a stepdaughter didn't broke her spirit to work things out with her father.....sampai situ saja sinopsis saya...

starring amanda bynes and collin farinth

I mean, every daughter wants to have that special relationship with their father right..the father daughter moment. I remember that my dad taught me to ride a bike without the help of the two mini tyres, how he took care if us during his study years when mom had to go to work, insult me when I'm doing stupid things and always ask me to tag along whenever he goes for a jog, or plays squash, badminton and stuffs.

 I define dad as an adventurous person as he likes to try new things and thats where I got it from..saya pon kira kaki jalan hehe..

I love my dad even though at some point I felt a little dissapointed with him but that doesn't change our relationship. I'll always be your little girl. Even though at the moment we have less time to spend together but whenever I feel down or emotionally not well, I'll reminisce the good old days I had with you...I love you ayah :)

A Great Adventure With You :)

aww..so sweet...

Just a little weird..kenapa saya sangat rajin post kt blog ni?

Oh well this is one of my ways to express my emotion....no one is gonna read this all over again except me..oh how bout my future children..will they read this?or in 20 years time blogspot doesnt even exist..

Ok malam ni ak banyak mengarut..baru siapkan lab report..selamat malam :)

A Letter to My Husband

 Di malam penuh kejiwangan ini tiba-tiba  saya decide untuk menulis sebuah coretan pada suami saya:

dear mr husband,


I know my words would freak you out since I wrote this letter before we even got married. So maybe some of these content may or may not be true or what so ever. I thought about this for some quite time. Here's a list of things that I would like to say to you.

1) You maybe someone that I have met or never met or maybe someone that we met on short notice before we decided to get married. I don't know who you are but definitely we will meet as husband and wife and I had a great feeling that we're gonna be best friends.

2) I may not be perfect and I hope you will accept me for who I am but please do remind me if I've made a mistake and hopefully I will do the same too. I would most likely to perform prayers as jemaah with you whenever we have the opportunity to do so.

3) As you know a women can sometimes be very sensitive. I have been going through hardships since my teenager years until now I have to do part time jobs and study at the same time to survive in my university life since I don't apply loans and get scholarships. Plus my family problems is getting more and more complicated and I don't know when it will end. Forgive me if I cried a lot. Usually I would cry alone in the car or in my room.And sometimes I would called a friend and chat while bursting in tears. Like this one time I hold back my tears after tried to persuade my lecturer to pass my exams after I spent a whole night doing everything I can to pass my exams like redo the final paper, redo tutorials and example questions just to get an addition of 7 marks to pass. Can't imagine to repeat the paper that is disgustingly awful. But government institutions are not the same as private ones where you can just retake the paper rather than going through the whole semester. So nak tak nak terpaksa jugak la amek paper tu semula. Dengan kecewanya  masuk dalam kereta then terus nangis. Its kinda frustating when you put your effort on getting something but your effort seems pointless. I hope that you could comfort me in your arms saying that everything is gonna be alright or something like "hey, as long as I'm here u'll be ok".

4) I don't have many reliable friends. At school I was the timid and shy one. The worst memory I had during my school days when i got isolated by my friends after one of my 'reliable' one spitted out my greatest secret. That's when I realised that I should not trust someone too much and the theory of 'bestfriend' is somewhat nonsense. I hope you can change my perception.


5) You know what. I'm pretty good at massaging skills especially chiropractic. I learnt this myself after seeing my dorm mates doing it. Then my mom was the first person which I can 'asah2' my skills. Till now people would knock on my door asking me to massage their back. I'll be glad to massage you whenever you feel tense after a hard day at work :)


6) I may don't have the full requirements to be a perfect wife but I will try to strive for perfection


7) I like travelling, taking pictures of places and stuff. and of course, shopping!! who doesn't right?(ok maybe its best stated to women) but don't worry, i don't mind going shopping alone. It would be pity seeing you following me around checking out stuff. Unless you like shopping, that's a bonus for me. The travelling part, sight seeing, visiting new places oh so interesting, fun and adventure. Lets travel together dear ^_^

8) What's your favourite dish?mine's lemak cili api and ayam masak merah and the fastest dish that I can cook is mushroom cream soup hehe..but don't worry,since  now that I have someone to take care of other than myself I'll promise  I cook for dinner straightly after I get back home ok honey.


9) You know how chocolate can decrease someone's stress emotion. I used to loved chocolate back then but somehow chocolate doesn't seem to be my best friend now. Usually when I'm feeling stress or emotionally down I'll drove myself somewhere and bought 'other' sweet things such as vanilla ice cream, blueberry muffin, cheese tart, cheese cake and sometimes even smoothies and will sit in the car alone for like 20 minutes and calm myself down. Please let me stop (or at least slow me down) from this unusual habit. I'm worried bout my sugar level even though the fact I fear gemukness.

10) I'm a family lover. I enjoy gathering and eat dinner together. So how's your family?is your mom and dad well? I hope they like me. I don't mind getting a day off accompanying you at your home town. That's something I should do right?

my wish list is too long. maybe 20% who reads this thinks that this is rubbish. Well it is something I hope my future husband will read. maybe in the future we'll be reading it together while laughing. oh there's one thing  I wanna tell you:



 Most importantly, I want you to know that I will love you as much as you will love me, my best friend, the father of my children, my soulmate :)

Something About Love and Life

ok I took these words from one of my faculty mates blog..very inspiring

KADANGKALA ORANG YANG PALING MENCINTAIMU ADALAH ORANG YANG TIDAK PERNAH MENYATAKAN CINTANYA PADAMU KERANA ORANG ITU TAKUT KAU BERPALING DAN MENJAUHINYA.
DAN BILA DIA SUATU MASA HILANG DARI PANDANGANMU.....KAU AKAN MENYEDARI DIA ADALAH CINTA YANG TIDAK PERNAH KAU SEDARI....

USAH DIRATAPI PERPISAHAN DAN KEGAGALAN BERCINTA KERANA HAKIKATNYA JODOH ITU BUKAN DI TANGAN MANUSIA.
ATAS KASIH SAYANG TUHAN KAU DAN DIA BERTEMU DAN ATAS LIMPAHAN KASIH-NYA JUA KAU DAN DIA DIPISAHKAN BERSAMA HIKMAH YANG TERSEMBUNYI. PERNAHKAH KAU TERFIKIR KEBESARAN-NYA ITU?


credits to ahmad muzakkir