Eternal Love

This morning I went for a jog with my classmate kismera..she said that she gained 6-7kg during our semester break..wah gila la..I wonder kat mana lemak2 tu tersimpan?haha..I only gained like 1-2kg hihihi...itu pon after our trip to JB..kalau kat rumah kami konsep makan kais pagi makan pagi....makan nasi satu hari sekali je..lauk satu je..itu pon kena catu coz takut either one of us tak dapat makan sebab lauk habis...so of course la excited bila dihidang makan banyak kan...So yesterday I already went for a jog alone..lebih puas la coz I manage to finished half dari satu bulatan untuk orang yang da lama tak jog kira membanggakan juga la untuk diri sendiri...bila temankan kis g jog serupa jalan je..100m jog and the rest was only walking..camno nak kurus ni kis...

Deyh adlin banyak benar pendahuluan kau kan...so after our little 'jog' we went for breakfast nearby and kismera starts to tell stories about her granddad and his 4 marriages (bukan kahwin 4..tapi kahwin cerai) and her family business..I defined her as the Hilton of pulau perhentian coz the resort kat situ was built sejak zaman atoknya lagi and sekarang the management of the resort was taken in by her paklong...so by then I told her the story about how my grandma and granddad's marriage back in the late 1940's did not have her family's blessing...

My grandma's dad was the village chief and conquers many lands back then..he raised 8 children since her wife died when my grandma was 14 if I'm not mistaken..wan(panggilan nenek kami) was  the 3rd and the eldest daughter so she holds the responsibility of raising her siblings until they were successfully masuk university..respect la sama wan sebab that time not all people can get into college..but my great granddad banyak duit masa tu so thats a bonus la..so she sacrifices a lot for the family..the reason why she got married at the age of 22..zaman tu rasanya kalau kawen umo 22 da macam andartu kot... she chose to marry a policeman..family tok kani ( panggilan kami kat moyang..real name sheikh kani) memang terang2 dah tolak sebenarnya because the fact that my atok is just a policeman with minimal income...tok kani already had his own plans to arrange wan with one of his rakan pengaruh..aku agak confirm anak orang kaya la kan...duh obviously..

In detail I didn't know how it happened then but wan in the end did married atok...but because of that it has broke the family apart...its like wan's siblings accused her for being derhaka and not grateful of the life tok kani gave..but tak la macam drama sangat coz tok kani didn't disowned wan ...as I remember from mama, wan and atok had to live kat rumah pondok yang besar dia cam umah sewa aku kerat tiga sekarang...but years after their marriage...wan's siblings slowly starting to accept atok and atok started to open up his own business after his job retirement and manage to provide the family well enough..mama selalu cakap kalau setiap kali birthday adik beradik dia mesti diorang tak sabar nak  tunggu atok balik rumah bawak tin laici makan ramai2...tu kira macam dah mahal gila la sambut birthday dengan minum air laici..

But apart from all accepting  atok slowly there were two of wan's siblings that didn't care much..in fact saying that anak-anak wan ni pengaruh tak baik...but adik beradik mama peduli hape kan...main je sama2 coz rumah dah dekat2...and takkan wan nak halang kan...

So the person that I'm talking firstly is wan induk yeng(aku lupa nama betul dia) but I made a post last year that we went to her house in raub..click here kalau nak baca la... she was wan's only sister..I think yg ke 6 kot..so basically dia ni was the one that always blamed wan's mistake in marrying atok whenever wan kesusahan..she always forbid her children to ever get so close to wans children..siap cakap " anak2 zainab ni semua tak betul perangai". I only knew this from my aunts gossiping during our gathering at bangi..yea more like I was eavesdropping their conversation hehe...but mama said that their relationship between wan induk yeng's children are like very close like they somehow just ignore her warnings...yela mereka pon da besar dan isu ni pon dah lama so why bring it up until our 3rd generation?its not like a 7th generation curse macam mahsuri kan....and I know the whole story clearly when my 2nd cousin (wan induk yeng's grandson) told the whole story while I was in 1st year at UTeM..he was on his last year back then..sekarang dak fikri ni tengah sambung ambik PHD lagi uolls..gila la dia ni straight belajar..padahal masa sekolah kena tendang sekolah sains sebab curi underwear perempuan LOL...ok2 sambung cerita...so he told me that same story about our 'tok kani' family issues. He was on the same page as his dad so thats why he treated me like his very own sister sepanjang satu tahun aku kat situ..sampai mana2 lelaki yang nak kenal aku pon dia dok periksa haha...only her grandma can't tolerate...I think maybe until both of my grandparents passed away wan induk can only tolerate..and she did..yeay to that :p..

So moving on to the next sibling was tok teh...my mom told me that the last time she met tok teh when she was 15 years old..last year was the first time in 37 years she step into tok teh's house...I don't recall to whom I heard about the story but tok teh was the one that menentang habis wan's marriage. Sampai satu masa bila dia nak meninggal barulah dia panggil2 nama wan and nak minta maaf.. Itu yang saya dengar...so mama pon jarang2 cerita yang dia rapat ngan tok teh's children so I guess that the hashims weren't that close to tok tehs family..but either way we did visit the house and their family and wan teh did treat us well =)..yeay to that also heee....

What I learnt from this story is that...we always here cases where marriage didn't have parents blessing..we seldom hear about siblings blessings and anger about marriage that could ruin the family institution..even though wan did not chose a wealthy man as a husband, she did lived a joyful life with atok accompanied by 8 children..she did went through hardships with him...she passed away a year after atok on 2005...but for me the saddest part is when she didn't get a chance to reunite with her siblings...al-fatihah to arwah zainab and hashim...

haih if only I had a photo of atok and wan...yang lama kena scan tu ada kat kampung masih tergantung...so this is the best I got...

nampak tak tulisan kat baju tu?ha itu la event the hashims masa awal tahun 2011..at port dickson..a 3 days 2 night event fully organized by us...aku tak tahu ada point atau tak sebenarnya pic ni ngan post ni sebenarnya haha...ok randomness=adlin

Motherhood

 I know that I am not eligible to talk about marriage since I'm not married and pregnant and can't even see the path that I'm gonna get married by this year but this is just something I wanna share my thoughts about parenthood.

At this point, many of my friends have already got married and have children. In their late 20's maybe they will have like 2 children already. I always hear complains and murmuring about the hectic and tiredness of being a parent especially when your kids jarak umur dekat2...playing 3 roles at the same time. A mother, a wife and a career women would make your life sometimes mess up..sometimes rasa nak marah je bila tengok some people complaint about kepenatan layan anak2 ni...don't you know that your child is Allah's gift?please don't call them troublesome or mess maker...although it sounds horrible and geli when you're dealing with babies poop and stuff..I know you will be happy when seeing your child is smiling at you right? it maybe exhausting for a while ..you won't get your usual sleep time, you won't get your old life again and barely go for date nights with your husband..but in the end you will be happy..

For those who haven't watch the movie 'What to expect when you're expecting' I encourage to watch it coz for me its a very inspiring story. 5 story in one movie..cases when a wife can't get pregnant and has to adopt, a wife that tries for 2 years to get pregnant and a girl's reaction when she got knocked up..believe me when I watched this movie I wanted to cry LOL....

My mother always tells us stories of how she raise the four of us up...back then she had to go to work by day and take care of us by night..switch shifts between dad..so dad took care of us by day as he was doing his masters and Phd by evening..and when dad got too busy..mama had to take a day off to take care of the family...since dad was only a student so mama had to buy secondhand toys at a car boot sale...mama said that she already gone through the hardships of motherhood and sekarang since we are grown adults dia siap bagi warning lagi ," Don't ask me to babysit your kid," haha ok mama kami faham...unless we give her a maid so thats fair enough =p...now is her chance to live the life she deserves...from what I noticed her recent routine starts  bila pagi2 pergi jog kat taman gelora(for me tpt tu memang sangat cantik coz tepi pantai) and petang sikit main squash kat UIA ynag jaraknya memang dekat sangat dengan umah kami...aku lah jadi bahan bila kalah main game squash ngan dia. " come on la ayin..you can't even beat your 53 year old mom?" ok aku rasa loser gila sekarang haha..

To be frank, during my teenage years I was never good when it comes to handling children..anak buah pon tak de..adik pon dah besar..so I ended up being awkward when it comes to making a baby smlling or laughing...aku tengok baby comel je tapi aku sendiri tak pandai layan..dapat pulak budak 1-2 tahun yang banyak songeh ngada2..memang budak tu takkan pergi kat aku la..harapan la nak suh aku layan kerenah dia..my siblings memang suka sangat budak2 and budak2 pon suka mereka lagi2 my bro yang seems to get along with every budak yang dia handle..rugilah the girls tak pi ngorat dia..single lagi tu haha....well the fact that I'm not good with kids its actually a secret that I've kept from most of my friends..lagi2 kalau ada crush..kau gila nak bagitau statement camtu? but some of my close friends are already aware of my 'bad side' sampai diorang cakap " adlin camne ko nak kawen nanti?" yea I was afraid of that fact too...

THEN....



Two years ago that' motherly feeling' just came inside of me...aku tak didik pon tapi sendiri sedar kebenaran tu...every toddler handling was just something I felt like happy to do it...the cleaning, feeding, playing...everything yang memenatkan  untuk jaga budak aku wat..except the breastfeeding part la =p...dulu my siblings memang suka bahan aku tak pandai jaga budak kan..now dah sama level okay...its not just that..the feeling of having my own child seems to be growing..like can't wait to build my own family...but first..lets get to the part where I suppose to find a husband fisrt (sighs)

The Bloom Part Two

Why part 2? where's part 1? well I decided to save part 1 to myself and I figure its too private to share with any anonymous whose reading this since I let my blog public...

So why bloom? well in malay it means berbunga-bunga kan..the feeling that you're happy and just by looking or speaking to someone you love..oh my terasa jiwang lak malam2 ni...

I was once that girl...I easily get butterflies in my stomach every time a hot jock or guy in school smiles at me or even making jokes to his friends.. I love the feeling of a person cared about me that it makes me feel secure.  I didn't realized that I always get the guy that I had a crush on. Like kamal my first boyfriend, my heart pounded the moment I first saw him.. they say that if you're heart starts pounding so maybe he is the one you are gonna spend the rest of your life with..Well from what I have been going through, thats totally BS...even so I really think that he would be my husband then...

At school I never really experienced 'puppy love'..thats a good thing for me though because most of high school relationships didn't end up to marriage..but I do experienced the bloom when my crush talked to me even though he did not have a single clue that I had a big crush on him until someone I trust (that time I wasn't aware of the term trust to people) spill out my secret and the guy knew and suddenly avoiding me..by that time the crush was over because he react like a total jerk haha..

Well thats one of the examples that I could give now..I could share more stories on my crushes experience but maybe it would take more than a night to cover it up...and maybe I could publish  a novel perhaps haha..ok lame adlin..lame...

Then after all these years I realized that I was being selfish...I had an option but I chose to grab all of it..in the end I couldn't keep one...mende aku cakap ni pon aku kurang faham....but the thing is now Allah has taken me the 'bloom' feeling from me...its a sign to realized that I was abandoning Him and choosing more of dunya that Him...ten years ago my teacher back in sekolah menengah islam hidayah told us a story about her friend..she and her husband did not have any issues until one day she doesn't have any feelings for her husband..not even the 'batin' part..barangkali dia lebih bernafsu tengok lelaki lain berbanding suaminya sendiri...she panicked..dalam setiap solat she prays that she could overcome Allah's test upon her..I didn't know what happened next...the whole point of my teacher's story was ' What if one day Allah decided to take that love feeling between you and your husband/wife?".... So its possible then.

In  my case...after three relationships that didn't work out I finally have that feeling of not having the bloom thing at all...I did panicked a while..maybe I was being more careful on judging people...I had that mission to get married at the age of 25,but on 2013 at the age of 24, it seems so  pressure for me deciding. My mom keeps pressuring me to meet this 'husband material' kind of guy that she promised a better future..yes I know he is someone stable...I always hear about pilihan ibu bapa yang terbaik...tapi paling tak suka kena pressure..last year I made a deal with a friend that we would be engage by this year and married in 2014...he seems to agree with that since we were on the same boat last year..then I thought everything would be settled after our agreement...no frequent text messages, late night calls or whatsoever...bajet cinta lepas kawen la katekan..then mom decided to berkenalan with her choices..than I argued with her saying that I already have a choice.." well that choice is not good enough,btw he will graduate the same year with you so you will face hardships before both of you can be fully stable..so please go for my choices,"

Well if thats the case, I decided to leave our conversation there...I know that my mom sedang melalui fasa where she wants to see us happy...she doesn't want to put us in hardships just like we are going through now...marriage..jodoh kan satu rezeki..maybe rezeki saya belum sampai lagi so I don't need to rush..besides am I the 2nd breadwinner in the family?so of course I need to sacrifice the important things first before marriage...

Seriously I don't know what I'm babbling here...if you get the point..congrats..if you don't..well sorry can't help...

please be one of these guys if I wanna have that bloom again ahaks...

chris pine..always love him since the princess diaries 2

Ian somerhalder...the good-looking salvatore brothers

avan jogia.. from victorious

 or paling dekat la aku bagi untuk malaysia is...*drumroll please*

hairul azreen!!!the stuntman yg masuk fear factor selebriti malaysia...ulang2 tengok part dia je...sangatlah cool ok haha

Ujian

a post I fully copied from Hilal Asyraf's post on his official page:

Tujuan ujian adalah untuk menguji. Sebab itu namanya adalah ujian. Jika ujian itu datang dalam keadaan mudah dilangkau, tidak dinamakan ianya ujian. Ujian semestinya menggegarkan, menggoyahkan, meragut ketenteraman dan menghilangkan kesenangan.

Dalam keadaan ini Allah ingin melihat sejauh manakah keyakinan kita kepada-Nya.

Yang Allah mahu daripada ujian adalah pembuktian kita terhadap keimanan kita.

Saya sering mengulang ayat 2 dari Surah Al-Ankabut:

“Apakah manusia itu mengira, bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan berkata: Kami telah beriman, sedangkan mereka itu belum diuji?”

Sebab itu, adakah kita mengira, kita akan masuk syurga Allah dengan lenggang kangkung tanpa diuji dengan ujian yang hebat? Kadangkala seakan kita tertolak ke pinggir gaung. Hanya menunggu masa sahaja untuk jatuh walaupun telah berusaha bertahan.

Kita bertanya-tanya, kenapa kita diuji sedemikian rupa?

Ketahuilah, itu hakikatnya adalah tapisan kita ke syurga Allah SWT.

“Apakah kamu mengira, kamu akan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga, selagi belum tiba kepada kamu ujian yang telah didatangkan kepada orang-orang sebelum kamu? Mereka diuji dengan kepapaan dan serangan penyakit serta digoncangkan. Sehingga berkatalah rasul dan orang yang beriman dengannya: Bilakah pertolongan Allah(hendak sampai)?...” Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 214.

Iya. Diuji sehingga ke pinggiran gaung. Sehingga tergoncang keimanan mereka. Allah nak bantu atau tidak ini? Tetapi mereka itu memilih untuk terus percaya. Apakah jawapan Allah pada akhir ayat itu?

“...(ketahuilah) sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu amat dekat.” Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 214.
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Petikan daripada Buku Motivasi Untuk Kita Pendosa: Harapan Selalu Ada!

Bare with It

I realized it's been my 7th semester here and the same problem always arises everytime we have are assigned to a group work...some students may prefer choosing their own group member while me on the side always have problems choosing my own group..everytime the lecturers asked students opinions whether to choose their own group members or simply the lecturer decides, I would be the one really hoping that the lecturer would decide our own group. For me its easy and we don't have to bother on searching for one.

When it comes to forming our own group, that could be a problem for me. I remembered when I was in my 1st semester where people would quickly approach me to be their group member in japanese language class (fyi I have a moderate level of Japanese Language :p). I still remember that time I was so confused on choosing which group should I joined. In the end I choose the ones that asked me first.

Moving on to my 2nd, 3rd and so on...I had problems when it comes to forming my own group. I guess maybe its my own fault for not performing well in the task given, or maybe its my fault that the group's mark are not good, or maybe the fact that I'm just not good enough...the thoughts keep arousing me everytime.. its like people are avoiding me or something...on the other side I heard that guys prefer grouping with their own kind. Means its easy when it comes to discussion where they could easily discuss at their rooms, houses with their shirts taken off. Imagine grouping with a girl, they should meet up in a open place and can't simply move around freely.

There's another case where I found a group of people prefer on their own group..what  I meant here is that no one could join their group..its like a group of what you can called " The Top Scorers" where they can't simply let the 'Average' join the group. Total BS right....

To come think about it, I should reviewed myself on how have I been treating people during my group work. There must be some kind of reason why people somewhat refuses me to join their group. I don't expect every people to like me though..its their own choice. I just need to know what part of me that I should change for the better. If I think one the negative side (which I shouldn't)...people only approach me to be in their group for subjects that I am good for like japanese language and technical communication. Other than that, I have to search alone..so does it mean that I'm no good for other subjects?Well hello I got an A- for my Mechanics of Machines subject (I defined an A- for me is like an A++  for adlin) so I'm not much of a loser you know huh...

Forget the negative thoughts..bad adlin..bad....I should always look everything in a positive side..islam taught me that...I forgot the term called for that..relax la adlin...despite the pressure you're carrying, there are people who are willing to take you as a group member and accept with your weaknesses..indeed they are good people...thank you for that...

I really hope that this post won't offend anyone who read this...so sorry if I did so...this semester has been really tough and full with pressuring tests so I may get a little emotional..plus I'm on my PMS mode so paham2 jela :p

I wanna graduate!!

Frankly speaking..I just hate seeing picture people posting about their graduation pictures on facebook or instagram what so ever. Jealous?OF COURSE!! I have been studying since 2007 till 2012 and still no degree yet... sometimes I even felt a little tired of this student life.. maybe because the fact that I am studying in a course that I can't really survive by getting good grades so by now I just feel that I wanna finish my degree so bad that it is killing me slowly deeply inside...

I just had a 2-hour skype session with my best friend topek in Japan where he told me that he will be going back to malaysia on 27 december..so about 3 more weeks left. He's the same age with me..he graduated but due to his 4 months training in Japan he couldn't go to his convocation..but the point is he graduated..most of my 1989 borns already graduated... kalau yang amek course 3 years tu lagi la cepat habis...me on the other side, stil on my 7 semester. I think that maybe I will have a 9th semester...yeah bummer right...so that makes me graduate at the age of 25!!!like seriously? 25 is the age that most people already had their masters degree..and for a married person maybe their kids had already know how to walk!!

Oh my Allah, sometimes I feel so pressurized by the fact that I wouldn't be able to graduate with my friends, finding a decent job and get married..even though sangat ramai kawan2 saya kahwin  ketika belajar tapi jodoh saya tak sampai lagi nak wat camne.. at least kalau ada suami ni leh la nak mengadu segala masalah and hoping that he will make u feel better... I only have friends to rely on..sometimes I think I'm not playing a good role of being a friend. Duduk rumah pon asing2 dengan harapan tak nak cari gaduh..tapi tengok orang lain ok je nak berkawan..lagi2 tengok kawan2 kat UITM..UKM..serumah and juga sekelas..xdela masalah bagai... My sister also had that same problem when she was in her degree time where she prefers staying with people other than her classmates... we do have that kind of bond kan kakak?are we such freaks?


Senang cerita macam ni la...this is my final year as a degree student but I think I haven't got the chance to do so many things. Like this one time..semalam je pon...for interfaculty games I was selected to play in a bowling tournament since my score during the selection process was 143..the third best among 7 who participate..and they only wanted 4 girls to play.. I was more than happy to play since it has been two years that I played tennis for interfact so this year rasa nak tukar angin...but since this week has been super busy that I have no time for training, the team manager decided to put me as a reserve,.,,and I was like WTF? ada je lagi  player yang tak training and you just have to give them a part to play right just because you owe them..great,,just great...I had to come to support the team but reality is that I just watched them play dalam hati  cakap ," I can do better than them," masa tu team tengah score agak teruk...why manager why? pastu depan si budak tahun 4 ni cakap, " ini last game ko..last year" eh manager, saya ni bukan last year jugak ke? why didn't you give me a chance? seriously I am frustrated..that's why I couldn't give much support to them..yea it may seem selfish for me but its my last chance to contribute something even though its not about the prize that we are after...( karen..if you're reading this, which I know you do, here's the truth why I didn't want to talk about the game yesterday )

Tomorrow is the last day for interfaculty games as well as the majlis penutup..my tennis teammates, classmates that participate in softball, handball will also be playing tomorrow. I wanna come to be their supporter..but I think twice before going..am I going to humiliate myself simply because I went alone watching? even topek said, " watpe ko nak g menghitamkan diri," xsupportive langsung punya kawan haha...seriously tak kisah pon kalau hitam,..my skin will return back to its original tone in a few months hehe...but all of this won't be fun if we don't have friends that could jerit2 sama2 korang and gelak sakan sama kan...

Despite of all the tension arises, I am glad to be talking to one of my best friends that I miss so damn much...sometimes I imagine  meeting him with his classmates yang memang suka menggila dimana saja when I was walking my way through class...its fun having seniors as friends but tak best jadi senior due to the tension gila2 bak hang...ape benda yang ak sembang pasal tension2 ni semua dia dah rasa...nasihat dia pasal sem 8 ni is janganlah lewatkan kerja tu..kalau tak confirm tension gila...fyp akan jadi lagi senang kalau lebih bersedia...

OK adlin..you have to stay stronger just a little bit more...I know it sucks for not being able to graduate on time...but always remember Allah tak akan uji hambaNYA diluar kemampuanya...

On Plagiarism Matters

While I was busy doing my assignments and projects and not forgetting my final year project!! (big grudge on that one) I logged on to utem's student portal to check out new items.. then my hvac (heat ventilating & air-conditioning system...malas betul ai nak tulis panjang2) lecturer uploaded our individual assignment assessment based on similarities between our work and the internet...in short the percentage of plagiarism in our work...honestly speaking I was a little nervous the moment I saw the file there probably because it took me only two days to complete the assignment because I was rushing finishing my FYP poster...students just LOVE to procrastinate right...

So then when I opened the file and ..wallauweyh!! I got 14% of similarities...not exactly the greatest achievement  coz my rank was 25 out of 60 student submission..it was quite a relief for me coz my lecturer once mentioned that if a student's work is more than 30% of similarities, it is assumed as plagiarism....kalaulah aku buat betul2 mesti dapat 0% similarities heee..ayat bajet bagus hoho... I should work harder for my thesis  and my new target : achieve below 10 % of similarities!!fight-to~oh!! (terikut-ikut ngan yankumi in gokusen lak hehe)

Then I realized something...intelligence is definitely not based on how good your grades get...or how well your curricular activities are..sometimes we just need a little determination and confidence in life..maintaining good relationship with people around...and certainly maintaining a good relationship with Allah is what matters most...

juz a little prove that I ain't lying ..and self satisfaction :p

Procrastinating is sweet!!

So sorry for not updating my blog for quite a while...its not that I didn't visit my blog at all..hari2 dok bukak tapi sekadar tengok dashboard and read other peoples post....ok so last week we had an ultimately painful week.. my sweet precious weekend was just filled up with study and study...last sunday we had our measurement and instrumentation test, the next day was HVAC (heat ventilation & air conditioning) test and for wednesday was my control engineering test (subject repeat huhu)..you see..3 damn test!! then as soon as I finished my test, I straightly went to my supervisor's house Dr Nona where I met all of her 'anak buah' bawah dia sedang bertungkus lumus finishing their final year project poster which in fact even I just started like 10% of it...the cool thing is that we get to lepak2 at our supervisor's house macam member2 hehe..sebaik Dr Nona ni single and duduk umah sorang2 so xde hal la nak datang uma dia kan...tak kacau orang lain..but we were quite feeling guilty that she had to stay up till 3a.m just so that we can present our best..love u lah Doc!!

Tak cukup ngan tu...I had to submit my HVAC assignment which is a full 3 page of journal that I just started kumpul resources on the internet and biarkan je sampai la hari rabu pagi baru nak start buat..submit khamis ni...some of my classmates had already submitted their poster and assignment on wednesday since they had to catch their bus on the same day...the panic moment started at wednesday night where I have to complete the poster and assignment...I can't find a vital excuse to escape my night job so macam mana pon kena pergi jugak..then cepat2 I rushed to Dr Nona's house...alhamdulillah I completed like 95% of the poster..and that was like 2.30a.m I think...and my hvac assignment..tak bergerak lagi!!what to think of writing lagi  1 1/2 page ? belasah jela..I was thinking of staying up tapi last2 kecundang..tido dr kol 5.00 and woke up at 6.30am...oh man there goes my time!!but seriously I think that  satu jam setengah tido tu memang bantu sikit kasi idea on my assignment...then sambung keje...then suddenly I realized that " banyak nya salah on my poster!!" so it took my time untuk cantikkan lagi and emailed it to dr nona....


The moment that I thought I finished all of my task then " oh snap!!lab report!!" although I only have to rewrite the results and made a conclusion, I still feel that I can't even write  and nothing is coming out of my mind to write at all...rasa bersalah lak kt ahli group for making the report so cincai...I reached dr nona's office around 2pm and stayed there for one and half hour to make my final touch before printing out the poster...the moment when I can finally breathe in relief, kena pulak balik packing nak balik ke KL untuk  raya haji..since this year we're not having any korban, so we the Hashim's decided to just raya at KL..and we the adik beradiks memang plan to raya at my dad's kampung at Gombak. Imagine the journey I went through from melaka to kl yang hujan dan start jammed dari MRR2 sampai ke taman melawati...tapi gladly that lagi banyak kereta yang nak keluar kl dari masuk so kurang jammed like I expected (memang dari dulu kami  melawan arus so totally escaped dr jammed hihi)..dalam kereta terperangkap dalam jammed imagine how rasa nak tido datang...pakai hands free and started to call anyone yang rasa nak kacau hihi..but the same time I was afraid kacau diorang yang probably tengah kat surau/masjid...so tahan la ngntok tu sampai kol 9...then I called my 'arranged marriage husband' since masa dia called during my busy time tak sempat nak borak panjang ngan dia...when he picked up he was on his way to jusco bukit tinggi searching for a malay novel (seriously aku tak tau dia baca novel melayu....belia sungguh daa) but 'luckily' he didn't found one so he decided to look for another thing that interest him..gundam!!dia memang boleh geng sangat la ngan mastura tu..masa aku trip kat jepun tu sikit pon xteringin nak beli gundam yang harga just around Rm60-150 while kat malaysia yang paling murah pon around rm300..pebondo yang best sgt gundam tu...

ok aku melalut as usual...you see how the procrastinator like me ended up like? less sleep..stress..under pressure..but how bout the work?people say that hasil keje last minit ni biasa lagi bagus..but I'm still not sure bout that...itulah student kan...procrastinate is our thing hehe...

Twins Addiction

Lately I've been following blogs and vlog hosted by twins which I find very2 interesting..dunno la somehow they seem so cute hehe...rasa macam nak anak kembar pon ye gak..dapat sepasang kembar laki pompan..pastu tak nak branak da haha :p...twins are not like any siblings..they were in the same womb at the same time so of course naluri drg sedikit sebanyak sama..macam kalau sorang ni tak suka,,pastinya yang lagi sorang tu tak suka gak..one of my dorm mates back in smk bandar putra were twins but separated..maksudnya satu kembar kt dorm aku and lagi satu kt dorm sebelah..tapi tak jauh pon la..dorm jenis bersambung lak kan so kalau jerit2 tu memang dengar lah...baca2 gak post2 drg ni...cerita takdelah best mana..(macam cerita aku best sgt lah kan) but because the fact that they're twins so cepat je naik..yes I do agree they look cute with the siblings moment tu..kalau x, xdelah aku tertarik nak buka blog diorang kan..

so here's a list of my favourites..actually byk lagi masa tengah blog walking but I totally forgot to save/add to followers list..

http://naughtytwin.blogspot.com/
 yang ni memang sgt suka cita pasal life dia n his twin..

http://cleopheera.blogspot.com/search/label/You%20Mean%20Everything

ni baru gak jumpa..ni kemba laki perempuan...baca2 last2 dia ni satu matrik..dah plak tu skali PDT..cmne la aku leh xcam..budak hayat kot..thats why hehe..kalau fizik  PDT confirm kenal

then jumpa lagi vlogger kembars from london uolls..they're 19 and they do crazy and hilarious stuffs..its a good thing that they're cute so org xdela nyampah tgk haha

http://www.youtube.com/user/JacksGap

Comelnya Abang!!!

Tajuk macam nak tuju kat abang kekasih tersayang sangat kan..nope2 I don't make those kind of lovey dovey posts (not yet I think)..I just wanna share something I found interesting.

Yesterday I went to Jusco with my room mate checking out some stuffs and ain my room mate wants to 'shop' at watsons (seriously she's addicted to watsons stuffs..I don't know why). While I was waiting for her, I sat outside on a bench next to McDonalds and I saw a mother with 4 kids aged between 6 months to 5 years old..yeah jarak dekat2 semua...the oldest was the brother together with his two lil sister and a baby brother..that time I didn't noticed that their dad is already inside the restaurant queuing..one of the lil sis was crying tremendously at the patung McD tu and the brother grab her sis and persuade her by " Meh abang belikan aiskrim nak " then he went to the ice-cream counter  and took out an imaginary wallet of his and paid for two ice creams..he gave one to his crying his " nah ni satu untuk abang satu untuk adik " so cute la the way he had the imaginary ice cream idea coming out dalam usaha nak pujuk adik dia supaya tak nangis.. " ha sedap kan ice cream..abang nak beli lagi la" then he went again to the counter with the same act he did before...

10 seconds later, the father came out holding 3 cones of sundae and gave to each one of them..so they did really got one instead of an imaginary lol..but the scene for me is very cute..kalau ada abang camni kan bagus..because I really never had a brother..only young uncles which mostly are my dad's master research students that I know them for more than 10 years..ok la..

Tips on Saving Money by the Ex-Big Spender

So today I'm gonna share some of my experiences on how to spend wisely..especially when you have less than 100 bucks in your account to be spent for the rest of the month..very useful I tell ya..this post is crucially for students

Tip 1: Try to prevent from buying outside food, nasi campur at stalls and try to cook something simple such as fried egg with soy sauce and rice...tadaaa..done

Tip 2: If your friends ask to hang out, prevent yourself from saying " I don't have money" " I'm on a tight budget" or so and  try something a little more  jaga hati sikit like " I don't feel like going out" "Sorry I already cooked something at home"..try to vary your answers from repeating the same usual words that people say..you don't have to brag about being 'poor' to all people you know just to get sympathy and charity...remember, your words are your doa..my grandmother always reminds me that...if you say that you don't have money all the time then you might exactly be moneyless...even so with loads of money you still feel  its not enough..for those who are  utterly keeping the secret of his/her life..Allah will guide us the way..insyaAllah...

Tip 3: Do part time jobs la..duh!! besides of having your own side income..you will learn how to manage your time wisely..

Tip 4 : Sacrifice your usual routines...such as drink starbucks coffee every morning, eat fast foods weekly, hang out at shopping malls with your colleagues (unless you just accompanying them without buying anything ..so that can be exceptional), pamper yourself with expensive treats and stuffs....aside from medical issues and really3 important tasks..

Tip 5: For those who are seriously in a relationship..especially guys..its a big NO NO la if you have 100 bucks in your account...like hello you have to prevent yourself from going out..unless your girlfriend is very generous to pay for the expenses hehe....for singleton ladies like me we have to learn to be independent and not hoping for a charming prince to propose to you...stop hallucinating, this ain't a fairytale life... but I remember sheikh muzaphar said to her wife that " “Every women loves Kate Middleton because she lives the fairytale life that you all women want.. to marry a prince!!”

ok thats out of the topic...juz exaggerating a bit heee

Tip 6: If you're the kind of person that enjoys travelling and window shopping, its totally ok if you wanna go out once a while with your friends..lagi bagus bila you travel  ramai2...but remember to make calculations before you decided to join..then when it comes to touching an item that you really find it cute..this time your close friends play an important role..they would remind you " Nice to see Nice to hold..bare in mind to buy things important only"..thank you fi and tasya for always reminding me..but ayat atas tu tak guna la hehe

Tip 7:  If you really don't know how to start, try to ask your friends tips and guides (singgah2 le my blog pon ok gak..more tips coming soon :D ) and most importantly seek guidance from Allah..don't ever lose hope to Him...

Ok I think thats enough that I could think of tonight..time to hit the sack..got my first lab session tomorrow..bye2

I don't know how to set the original time at every post I made..takpelah..malas nak pikir...

Final Year!!

It's my second week of my 7th semester...perasaan jadi super senior?seriously tak rasa apa2!! All I know is that I wanna finish my degree so damn much that it keeps haunting me like every second..maybe because  most of my colleagues already graduated and have jobs so thats kinda pressurized me.. the same way I felt during my second year at matriculation where most of my friends on the one year programme already on their first year of university life...I don't know why but somehow I miss my intern life..even though I realized that working environment isn't as much fun as I expected but at least problems at work are kept at work..on the other hand, problems at college are brought till the moment you wanna go to bed..selagi tak siap selagi tu la dok pikiaq cmne... I don't know about other companies but at as far as my observation, I see that no matter how great you are at work, your achievements at college or your position...bila da masuk time lepak2 kt luar mahupon kt pantry semua pon jadi sama je...

Talking about my subjects taken this semester, currently I'm taking 17 credits and additional 3 credits (that makes a total of 20 credits) plus 2 credits of final year project...penat tak penat tu belakang cerita la coz masa belajar memang penat pon...so the title of my project would be 'biomass' in general la tajuknya tu..xigt tajuk sebenar hehe...I'm experimenting the rate of cholerific value of trash product in the production of briquette..xtau sila google macam saya heee...

The lecturers..hmm how should I say this... I expected that since we are final year students so lecturer tidak lah jenis school type ones like jenis suke suruh gi depan jawab soklan sume..be punctual..but unfortunately itulah yang kami dapat..hopefully semangat mereka tu masa awal2 jela ngeee.. oh bout  my FYP gladly I chose a lecturer that is easily to be contact..pasal tajuk tu mula2 ingat nak amek yang gempak tahap genius but after taking several advices from friends and people from my workplace, I decided to go with something 'easy'..ye ye je senang..lom wat lagi hoho

Nonetheless..saya tetap rindu ahli2 at RWNA  :))

my last payment

a little farewell party for the interns

juki (right) ckp jgn upload kt fb muka dia nga makan tp sy upload kt blog la hohoh

maka tinggal la badrul (left) sorang kt sini utk lg 3 bulan..dak poli lama sikit intern..bos siap tawar keje lagi pas abes ..untung masa depan da terjamin

Thank You Allah

As I go older..yes have to face the fact that I'm old :p...things changed for the past few years..from worst to better..I realised these mistakes that I made put a great impact into my life..the self awareness that just came naturally to my heart..let me give you a few examples:

- before I don't care if I wear short length shirts..kira atas punggung or betul2 separuh punggung where whenever I raised my hand it would show my skin..even sometimes my sisters pon tegur je but I decide untuk ignore je...

-Now I had to make sure all my clothes covers the butt and of course loose as I don't want people to see my sexy back..long cardigans are a must whenever I wear short sleeve shirts..thank you Allah for giving me the feeling of shame...If I wear something tight or singkat..I would feel like somehow naked and everybody is staring at my butt hehe

-before I don't care if I wear my hijab not covering the chest..I was thinking bout the whole fashion thing where most hijab models wear their hijab not covering the chest.

-Now I got the feeling that people are staring at me..than I figure 'what's the point of wearing a hijab but not covering the chest?" its just the same as not wearing them..thank you Allah for giving me the feeling of awareness about hijab

-before all I wanna do when entering a new environment is just to fit in..jumpa geng2..ikut je geng kalau pergi mana2..diorang abeskan duit..aku pon abeskan duit skali..they think negatively about people..u too have to think negatively..they cheat..u cheat..they have boyfriends/girlfriends..u wanna have one too

-Now I realised that fitting in is just a stupid option. Do what you think is right..think wisely and follow what your heart tells you to..its not that you have to be alone..you will have friends that know about you, understand your situation and always think positively about you.. I made my choice..I choose to stay with people older than me..career people that I am more comfortable with..Of course sometimes I missed hanging out with my classmates but alhamdulillah Allah gave me a two year chance to had fun with them..and     sacrifice my other two years for things that I should have done for the family..and yes my colleagues do feel a little weird about me  not hanging out with them that sometimes put an awkward feeling to us. but thank You Allah for giving me the feeling of having a family even though we are not related but you treated me as a part of your family and I am so grateful of that.(the family thing mungkin kurang jelas kat sini..akan terang lbh lanjut in my next post)

-before I seldomly recite the Quran..paling-paling pon baca Yasin seminggu sekali...tapi baca yasin da biasa so nak baca pon tidak la merangkak-rangkak...but when it comes to other surahs, oh man saya kecundang..baca tahap darjah satu iqra'..buat malu ketua kerohanian aspuri smk bandar putra 2006 hehe..dulu punya la suruh budak-budak ni baca Quran at least satu hari satu page..then bila aku da masuk universiti makin kurang amalkan lak..bila kurang baca..maka kurang lancar lah..

-Now I would spend at least one page per waktu reciting the Quran..bacaan pon alhamdulillah semakin lancar walaupon tajwid sedikit lemah..thank You Allah for making me realizing that I should be closed to You..thinking that you will always be there for me whenever I feel lonely...sad..happy..painful..angry..uneasy feeling..lost..

I hope these positive changes would continuously improve..do forgive me for all my wrongdoings..I am still not perfect..and perfect doesn't exist..but striving for perfection does..

THANK YOU ALLAH

I Bumped Into Them

 Today is my second last week before we hit  for study week for our upcoming 6th semester finals.. aiyoo sekejap je da nak abes tahun 3..then straightly for our industrial training.

Speaking of bumping, this week I just bumped into my final year friends at the faculty. We did smile and tegur each other without noticing that it may be our last smile or teguran we had. Eventhough I noticed that we are not that close and some of them just know me because I'm a friend of their friends and some of them just smile because they were just being nice..and some of them smile because they think I'm cute hahah..ok itu tipu. I'm not stating it to guys but generally its for my final year friends. Most of the final year students are the same age as me and just imagine in a few days they're gonna graduate and head to their own lives, get married, get a job and stuff, while me...got a long way to go~ sila la bertahan lagi setahun ye adlin.

To Banun, my house-mate that is so hardworking and I've seen your final year project suffering..just waiting for my turn to come..Topek my best friend, Awit, kak syida that we used to borak2 during our first year, kak hani yang saya rajin gosip2 dulu, reza the guy that I used to have a crush on him, topek's classmate that I think I know all them,(capik, tandok, togey, adam, bob, alan the guy that replaced my tutor position, fahmi the jepun guy, mustaqim the brother-like, shahir the bola baling captain), shafiq tennis that I think u should not be too cocky, asraf the jambu like guy and kinda like the prince of tennis one, kak ti, ain the bmcd'ians that I once played volleyball with them, muzakkir the guy that I enjoy reading his blog, the brothers from FKE and FKP that I once joined an entrepreneur course with them, and much more that I could not recall at the moment. Happy graduating ^_^

13 going on 30

have you ever watch that movie? What makes me wanna watch again this movie at first I just wanna see Mark Ruffolo's acting when he was a bit younger..he's not that old la sekarang. I watched him at 'The Avengers' and his character still remains the same..sempoi2 camtu. But after watching the movie, suddenly it struck me..if you haven't watched it yet please check out the trailer at youtube at least you would know something. You dream of having something during your youth days but in the end when you have it all you realized that you lost something that is just right in front of you.

Let me take an example, Jenna Rink (played by Jennifer Garner) always wanted to be the famous six chick, be a magazine editor and having the glamorous life. In the end she realized that she lost her best friend, seldomly contact her parents, made out with a guy whose married, and have friends that aren't really her real friends. Yet she was lucky enough to repeat her life after going back again being 13 again. But that doesn't happen in reality guys. Life happens only once. We decided how to go through it.

The same goes for me. I didn't think much or I was scared at that time when someone really dear to me ask me to marry him. What I see before is that marriage comes after graduation, after you get a secured and decent job but marriage while still studying?I didn't think much of that. I wasn't really fully mentally prepared. But when the time comes when I'm fully prepare to hold a responsibility as a wife, that person is going to marry someone else. Pretty frustrating right. tapi bukan jodoh nak buat camne. If I got the chance like Jenna does, I'm sure I won't let him go for reasons utterly unacceptable.

Life is fair, Allah gave us only one chance to live, you can't get back in time, but you can take your mistakes as a lesson for your future actions

Penangan Hilal Asyraf

Anda kenal siapa itu saudara hilal asyraf?kalau kenal..bagus la..tapi kalau tak kenal..why you tak kenal ha?he's a phenomenon ok..

Ok saya buat post ini sebab nak membicarakan tentang akhi ini. Alkisahnya dia bekas pelajar sekolah rendah islam hidayah dimana tempat saya  juga belajar..tetapi saya tidak berkesempatan untuk berjumpa dengan beliau kerana saya masuk sekolah hidayah masa tingkatan 2 dimana ketika itu dia sudahpun berpindah ke MATRI..sekolah di utara yang saya tidak berapa pasti lokasinya.

Anyways, the first time I saw him when we went to our little SMIH+SRIH reunion at gombak. There are a couple of people that I first met too there since I was at smih for only 3 years. but believe me, it was a heck of joy for that 3 years. Hilal didn't make it for the whole day but at least he came for a couple of hours since he was on a rush to give a talk at some place I don't recall. Then ameer told me that hilal was a famous writer that he even has his own company (langitilahi.com) and he published his first book when he was 13!!ok how cool is that? deyh napa tiba2 tkuar nak ckp english ni*

Since then I love to read his writings, his thoughts seems very inspiring to us readers. Sebab pendapat dia boleh diterima secara logik akal. Oh yeah one more thing..I got invited to his wedding..*yay* ok itu tak perlu mention kot. On 7 july, mentang2 warga hidayah kan hehe..but the thing is, I'm not sure if I can make it..

Ok sekian disini saja coretan saya. Kalau yang tak tahu tu, silalah follow dia kt twitter or subscribe kt facebook or even singgah kt website dia. He may not be as ustaz azhar idrus but he is indeed someone that could lead people, and some what a perfect husband..lalalala~

I manage to get one of his poyo looks hehe

Those were the days when Blogging is the 'Thing'

Di malam..or should I say pagi yang indah ini something came up to me..how did I start blogging? I created this blog since 2008 but I first start reading peoples blog before I thought of creating my own account. I became silent readers of people..specifically normal people and most of them are studying abroad. Why is that? well I'd like to see how Malaysian people survive at other countries, and still being a good muslim. I love their ukhwah, sisterhood stuff thing going on. Being abroad, far from your family and you only have your friends to rely on. Hence, your friends at college are your friends for life. They have such an interesting life. That's why I feel a little hesitant whenever I feel like I wanna open up my own account. It was like " what am I thinking? my life is nothing better then them"

Then I figure " what the heck" I literally opened up one. I wrote anything I like. I treated it like my personal journal. Bila bca balik post2 lama my writting seems so text message style. Too many short forms. Thats when I decided to write in english, but not fully english to be exact. Bila da lost of words then baru guna BM..

But then I start ignoring my blog since I don't have the courage to write..sebenarnya lebih pada malas..then year 2011 where I realised malaysian bloggers being famous. How?because they're pretty!!and they know how to style. But one thing that keeps spinning on my mind. Why most famous Malaysian bloggers came from a rich family?or may I say anak2 orang berada?Why can't anak petani or anak cikgu be famous for their writings? when I choose to be silent readers I didn't even choose based on their family status.

And then came the self -proclaim fashion bloggers. Kadang2 saya pon akan post bout fashion too :p. Don't get me wrong I really do like fashion. I'll buy clothes which I can only afford. I mean student kena la pandai budget2 sikit with your financial.

I was a little dissapointed when most of the blogs that I 'follow silently' are now abandoned or on hiatus. Seriously I missed their writings and I once send one of them a message at their personal facebook asking about their update. Berani sungguh kan..macam obses je..sampai si mamat ni pon pelik..sorry I bukan nak ngorat u ok.

Either way writing seems a good way to express thoughts. If blogging or this blogspot still exist in 20 years where I can still preserve this account, it may be a good stuff to read by my future children (Aminn...)
At this moment I'm still wondering whose the father of my children..one guy came up in my dreams, someone I never met before..after several istikharah prayers I performed..lets just see how it goes. Tiba2 nak bagitau pulak kan~

Oh if you're wondering whose blogs that I used to follow, try click on these links:

1) Azreen Harus, France

2)Nadiah, Japan

3)Amin, France (blog deleted on 2008)

4)Izzu, London (blog deleted)

5)Izyan (blog deleted)

6)Naza, Japan

and much more that I can't remember for now

Ok time to hit the sack. Its a weird thing that I wrote 3 post in one night..the inspiration keeps coming and coming~

- Heat transfer test, Machine Component Design test,and Vibration project = total madness!!-

I adore you Hana Fedora

Recently I have been a silent reader of hana fedora's blog. What I like about her is that her determination in studies. She straightly pursue her masters at U.K after she finished her degree at Uniten. Then after she completes her masters she straightly pursues for her PhD..how cool is that?oh did I mention that he married a decent man after 8 months of sesi kenal2 and now had their first baby boy?

Yes I am deeply jealous of her..in a good way of course..I love her determination..I sometimes wish of having a life like her...jom2 baca blog dia http://www.hanafedora.co.uk/

please note that hana fedora is her real name..bukan nama gedik2 ok :)

Moments That Made Me Happy :D

I went scrambling my stuffs on my laptop and found some old pictures that reminds me a lot how happy I am that time.hmm..... it doesn't necessarily means that I'm practically not happy at the moment but looking at those pictures reminds me a lot how I used to be so cheerful and lively. Can I be like that again?Or did I ever change?

At school I was the timid one. Didn't know how to grab peoples attention and always participate in english quizzes like spelling bee and english camp. Oh I forgot I also once participate in choir till state championship..and that was unexpected heee :D. Yet I was afraid that if I overdo something people might take advantage or maybe isolate me. So I decided to be the quite one. I even got an award for it..seriously..dammit sapa yang buat anugerah tu haha

try to find me :p

this picture was taken during  our school's hari raya celebration 2006 

my crazy friends hehe..a few days before spm

no special pose..the hugging tree pose is only what I can think of

us hostel girls with the principal.. this was the last year of his position as our school principal

Then moving way back to 2003, my previous school at Hidayah Islamic school located at skudai. I was known well because of my sister. I entered that school in form two where my sister was form 4 that time. My sister always had my back that time. Something like " don't mess with my sister"  on her forehead hehe. My friends were also very nice and humble although they came from a super rich family (private school built from parents donations). Then after my sister finished school, I got an offer to a cluster school at kulai where I took my spm there.

with nana and mai

comey kan saya hihi

sesi bedah katak..

this was my last day here. the six of us were besties..oh how I miss those moments

with adik2s... from left wani(now taking accounting at uitm..anis(law at uitm)

Then my matriculation days. I was on a two year program. my 2 years was filled with joy. my classmates were like a family. always stick together no matter what. there's no such thing as 'selfishness' for us 

memories of 4f30 2009

oh a picture of me at brynmill primary school. I was 4 that time and the only muslim in class if I recalled.

one of the best moments.. after our drama performance. such a great memory

during our puisi drama performance

On 2007, I went for an interview for Japan student exchange program...alhamdulillah I got a golden opportunity to attend for a 10 day experience. Our group consist of 22 students and yeah totally felt like student perantauan  :p

at asakusa temple

during my experience as a matric facilitator

with cousins at port dickson.. penat panjat bukit

my roomates b1-t3-15..still remember ok!!:D

Too much pictures I guess. seeing these pictures made me smiling alone in front of my laptop..gilo ape?hehe..

okay I better study for my 2 upcoming test next week..bye2!!:)

do's and don'ts about relationships

Something random I thought about. But logically some of them are true.

DON'T

1)Be in a relationship when u don't have enough money. Money is the root to all problems. The lack of money will lead to quarreling, unhappiness and other sort of problems. Love is blind? HELL NO. oh so could you say " uncle can I buy a pack of rice with my love?" !@#$%^&&


2) Ignore your friends once you are in a relationship. Sometimes it's sad  to see how one of your friends trust their boyfriend/girlfriend more than you even though you know her/him long enough


3) Be in a relationship just for fun. If you are not serious about getting married with the guy/girl so just forget about it.


4) Skinship. The part where most couples failed to do. At first you would say 'no' to skinship but then again syaitan keeps whispering in your head,oh how could you resist the temptation of your partner by just a little touch. A little touch sooner will lead to other parts. Do I need to say more?errr ok I'll stop here.


5) Over sulk. I hate this part but some couples like to cause they claimed  its more adventure..euww!!sikit2 nak merajuk lepas tu menyusahkan kita nak dengar rintihan..menyampah ok. Then one of your friends will be the victim to be the message girl/guy. Its ok for the 1st and 2nd time tapi kalau da selalu agak meyampah disitu.

DO

1) Always to remind your partner for the wrongdoings


2) Make sure to meet up at a place that is open. No need to be too crowded so that it prevents you from fitnah.


3) Bring him/her to meet your family so that they will know who are you going out with. In addition, family knows whats best for you. they will justified their characteristic based on their attitude





 Either way whats best for you is that try to avoid from coupling. I know its hard cause even I once had a relationship. Twice to be exact. Honestly I just can't stand the guilt every time I'm with this guy. Isn't it just nice to know my future husband is someone I know just in a few months. Or maybe someone I've known a long time ago but didn't have the chance to talk to him.




This post  is recently about the do's and don't about relationship. The next post will be the do's and don't after a break up. I wanna vlog about it but I'm not quite sure if I had the time to do so. Vloging seems cool to express your point of view other than talking.


the smack in the head: this week I'm thinking of going to the book fair at UPM serdang with my high school friend ameerah but I also have to study for my upcoming test. 2 tests awaits me!!bummer *_*